Thursday, January 22, 2009

The End Goal is Worth the Run

That is what the inscription on the back of my ipod says, the one that my husband gave me last year on mother's day. So yesterday as I was puffing along on my treadmill, I started to think what is my end goal? Seriously why am I doing this? My legs hurt, I'm all sweaty, why? Is it so that I can be Shelah? Maybe (I mean who wouldn't want to like Shelah). Is it to make all the money I've spent on shoes and treadmill and Itunes, feel justified? Probably. Is it for bragging rights when I get to the top of that hill? I sure hope so. Is it to be able to say that I did it because I said I would? For sure.

I've never been the athletic type, ever... I've always believed that to be true, always... So what does that mean now as I'm training to run a 178 mile relay race? It means that someone has been lying to me, and I think that it might have been me. I've learned a valuable lesson and its funny, and a little sad that I didn't learn it until almost my third decade in life. I learned that everything, even marathons start (and end) with one step at a time, and that whatever we believe to be true about ourselves probably will be.

I've also learned that sometimes its good to do something that's hard, so that we can learn and grow strong enough to do that hard thing. So if my fairy godmother breezed in tomorrow and told me she would give me a runner's body in exchange for a pumpkin or a mouse, would I take it? I would probably be tempted, but would it be good for me? Probably not. So every morning when I'm begging my legs to just give me just one more step... one more lap... one more mile, and thinking why? WHY!? I have to remember that the end goal IS worth the run because feeling the worth of the run in every step on the way to the finish line is the end goal.


koster family said...

Nicole--never stop writing, your blog (Nic's Notes) gives me real inspiration. No...I'm not training for a real marathon, just the marathon of life and tonight I really needed to read your words. Thank you!

Shelah said...

The first step is definitely the hardest, Nicole. And no one loves running on a treadmill. If you can get through the next two months, it will be spring, and you'll find the love again! Can't wait to run WB with you!

Bree Biesinger Despain said...

I can't run . . no, really, I can't. Once had my knee stabbed by the shattered dashboard of a car--hence the "no running," but I am so impressed by your dedication. I feel this way about so many things in life. Just take one more step, just write one more sentence.

One of my mentors (who is an award winning novelist) once told me that when she first started writing, she wrote 1 page a day while her kids played in the bath or ran around at the park. It didn't feel like much at the time, but at the end of a year she had 365 page novel. I always try to remember that on the hard days.

The Augustus Family said...

Mom told me about Max roaring! Too cute. I don't think he's scary. Miss you!

Sara said...

Nicole, That is awesome! Todd has finally convinced me to run a 5-k (while he runs the 1/2 marathon) this spring. It's only 3 miles, but seriously, there is a reason that we walked all over Sandy while we were growing up rather than running. But I figure, I might as well do it while I'm still able. I don't want to take anything in life for granted. Good luck!