Nic's Notes

Countdown to the Dark Divine

2009-08-25T22:59:00.000-07:00

I'm ready, Are you?

Time's running out, check it out at readbree.com

Baby Announcements

2009-07-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,

2009-06-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

Please forgive me. I never understood what true patience was until today when I spent several hours with my four year old son and a kazoo. Truly I felt like the MOST patient and enduring creature on the planet when after each lovely ear numbing rendition of a song was finished "Did you like my song mom?" was asked of me and I gritted my teeth, smiled and said, "I loved it, why that's the best kazoo playing I've heard all year."

Reminder

2009-02-11T10:48:00.000-08:00

When your three year old standing on the threshold of your recently steamed carpet says, "Mom I don't feel good." you have exactly 1.3 seconds to aim his mouth in the direction of the tile floor before it and everything within a five foot radius is covered in vomit.

Seriously this mommy thing aint for wimps.

I'm so clever...

2009-02-06T06:20:00.000-08:00

The other day I sneakily changed the desktop on Shane's laptop to this picture.

a few minutes after he left for work I got a text that read, "very funny."

Yeah I think so too, in fact I still get a kick out of it.

For those of you that want the back story, yes that really is a glacier that I came upon in Alaska last summer, when I went there to visit my old college roommate Jeri. Jeri is a super cool girl, who is so fun that when you hang out with her you find yourself doing crazy things like licking glaciers.

Sorry, no rodent lovers here

2009-02-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

Today out of the blue Mason said to me, "Mom rats are uh-scusting."

You got it dude they sure are.

Ouch!

2009-01-25T22:27:00.000-08:00

So today the timer goes off in my kitchen telling me that dinner is ready. Now if you are a frequent reader here you will remember that Max loves to climb on/in things. He especially loves the dishwasher, when he hears that thing open he comes a runnin', and always tries to climb inside it. Considering this behavior you can understand why I might have some concern when opening the oven as this is also a fascinating appliance to my Max.

So like I said the timer goes off and I go to retrieve the dinner, with Max close at my heels. Usually when opening the 400 degree oven I put Max in his high chair or call on dad to run interference, but I can smell that dinner is already getting a bit crispy so I strategically block the kid with my body and swiftly open the oven and extract the two baking sheets that have our dinner on them, and set them on the stove top. Then while constantly shifting my weight so as to keep him off guard I shut the oven door and feel relieved that I was able to keep my baby from climbing in my oven one more time. That is when I realized only seconds too late that I had made a horrible miscalculation in my keep baby from burning plan. You see tonight I had two pans in the oven instead of one and so I had to arrange them side by side on the stove top, and I was so busy with my tricky baby blocking oven retrieval that I didn't notice that the pans were both rather close to edge of the stove. To my horror I watched as if in slow motion as Max reached his little hand up and grabbed the edge of the hot baking sheet. Well you can imagine that my hands were only milliseconds behind and without even consulting my brain they grabbed that now screaming baby, and shoved his whole arm under the faucet that was running cold water. Then my brain started to catch up, my thought process was something like this...

Baby screaming...
baby hurt...
life threatening?...
no.
Ok mommy freak out mode lessening slightly...
Permanent damage?...
ER trip warranted?...
Inspect...
No. Big sigh of relief.
Baby still screaming...
Baby still hurt (and mad because now his arm and sleeve are soaked)...
Pan too close to the edge...
MY FAULT!

And then it sets in like a train wreck, the mommy guilt. Oh I feel so bad for my little guy. Seriously how could I let this happen? Shane comes to see what all of the hollering is about. He helps me comfort Max and comforts me a bit too. Showing me that Max's hand is fine. And really he is fine, although seriously upset.

Later I started to think about it. I felt so bad. I thought about another time I had a scare with Mason when he was a little bit older than Max is now. Its actually a pretty funny story that starts with me going to my doctor's office, and ends with me hurriedly wiping ultrasound gel off my pregnant belly while the nurse calls poison control. Everything turned out fine, but that night feeling completely wretched about it I relayed the story to friends. One of them told me something her mother told her about taking care of her six children when they were all very young. She said that when her kids were all small she just tried to make it through the day the best she could, and any day that ended without having to call poison control was a good day. It was funny and it made me feel better.

And tonight as my boys slept safe and cared for in their beds, I thought that poison control, and ER days do happen, and they are miserable, but most days in my kids' lives are not those days. How many good days, great days do we not give ourselves credit for. Seriously we read stories, we go to the zoo, we teach them to share, and to the very best of our ability we keep them safe. Really I think we're doing pretty good, and I think women out there need to band together and give mommy guilt a run for its money. Today lets give ourselves a break, because nobody's perfect, and give ourselves some credit for the good days.

The End Goal is Worth the Run

2009-01-22T14:52:00.000-08:00

That is what the inscription on the back of my ipod says, the one that my husband gave me last year on mother's day. So yesterday as I was puffing along on my treadmill, I started to think what is my end goal? Seriously why am I doing this? My legs hurt, I'm all sweaty, why? Is it so that I can be Shelah? Maybe (I mean who wouldn't want to like Shelah). Is it to make all the money I've spent on shoes and treadmill and Itunes, feel justified? Probably. Is it for bragging rights when I get to the top of that hill? I sure hope so. Is it to be able to say that I did it because I said I would? For sure.

I've never been the athletic type, ever... I've always believed that to be true, always... So what does that mean now as I'm training to run a 178 mile relay race? It means that someone has been lying to me, and I think that it might have been me. I've learned a valuable lesson and its funny, and a little sad that I didn't learn it until almost my third decade in life. I learned that everything, even marathons start (and end) with one step at a time, and that whatever we believe to be true about ourselves probably will be.

I've also learned that sometimes its good to do something that's hard, so that we can learn and grow strong enough to do that hard thing. So if my fairy godmother breezed in tomorrow and told me she would give me a runner's body in exchange for a pumpkin or a mouse, would I take it? I would probably be tempted, but would it be good for me? Probably not. So every morning when I'm begging my legs to just give me just one more step... one more lap... one more mile, and thinking why? WHY!? I have to remember that the end goal IS worth the run because feeling the worth of the run in every step on the way to the finish line is the end goal.

Time marches on...

2009-01-16T14:20:00.001-08:00

For sale. Baby bottles. Tenaciously used.

Today I Rollerbladed in the House

2009-01-14T19:17:00.000-08:00

You know your mom always told you to take those things off when you came in the house. Today Mason unearthed my roller blades, a tool of my youth and asked me to show him how to use them, I promised him as soon as the snow melts,but he was not cool with that. So I put them on and did a few laps around the kitchen table... it was great, and my kid thought I was the coolest person alive for a solid two hours after that.

Ok Here's the New Plan

2009-01-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

Ok I changed my mind. I'm not giving up my blog. I was going completely private because of reasons stated in my last post, I didn't want to, but I felt like I should for my kids and then well Bree made her big announcement, and I was so thrilled for her. For those of you that don't know my friend Bree go check her out, and today is her birthday so don't forget to wish her happy birthday. She is one of the coolest people I know and she just sold her first book. I am so proud of her, she is a gifted writer and she has worked so hard to realize her dream. It was Bree's new upgraded writer status that made me rethink this whole issue. I've had to think alot about why I started blogging in the first place. I started my blog for the following reasons.

1. I had my first baby, and he prevented me from ever leaving the house or socializing with adults, and I was lonely. Blogging gave me a window to the outside world, I made new friends and learned new things.

2. While I loved motherhood I missed the "old me" you know the one that had interesting witty, things to say and was respected by colleagues and friends. Somehow getting peed on in the middle of the night may make you feel needed, but doesn't make you feel respected.

3. I was finding a "new me" and I wanted to document it. Motherhood was new, and exciting, and terrifying all at the same time and I wanted to remember it all.

4. I love to write. I always have. I find it highly therapeutic for me, which is a bonus, and have always had a dream that I would be an author, you know a real live person who writes books AND gets paid for it. I even started a few, but I never ever told anyone about my dream, because well I was afraid of the incredulous looks that I would get. So my blog filled a huge need for me. I loved that I had a readership of people that I didn't even know who wanted to read what I had to say. In a word it was thrilling.

Then my blog started to change. There were many factors that contributed to this, but probably the biggest one was that I told people in my real non-internet life about my blog. Now this was a brave thing to do as this was before everyone and their uncle had a blog. I got a few incredulous looks, and a few snide comments about not having enough to do, but for the most part people were nice and largely uninterested. My mom was so excited though and I think became my number one reader. Living several hours away from her adorable grandchildren is hard on her and having internet access to them was great. But then my writing changed, I started posting less of what I thought and more pictures of the kids. I worried what people would think if they found out how opinionated and quirky I really am. I held back a bit more, on some issues I wrote with more constraint. Mostly though I wrote about the kids, because, well, they are my life. I wrote alot about the kids, and people that I knew started asking me why I always used code names for the kids because it was confusing, so I started using their real names.

And then the next biggest obstacle to my blogging happened: Max learned to walk, and oh my...that kid became a force of nature as wild and fiery as his red hair. In minutes that kid can single-handedly tear my house apart and has almost killed my blogging career. I mean I cannot in good conscience sit quietly writing posts while my one and a half year old is trying to start his base jumping career using the back of my couch. He is sunshine and lighting all rolled into one chubby little package, I love him so much, and some days I still can't believe how tired he makes me.

And then I started to worry that I should afford my children some more privacy. I didn't want to go private, but I started to feel a twinge of worry each time I posted a picture of them or a cute story about them. Its not that I think there is someone devious out there stalking my blog, although there could be and I wouldn't know it, its just that I want to know more surely who exactly has access to my children. Now I know that everyone feels differently on this issue, and that is just fine, but for me it was a concern and that greatly affected my writing. So I decided to just give up and admit that my blog had become a grandma blog and go private, but it did make me a little sad.

Then I heard word that Bree was going to publish and I felt so happy for her, and envious that she was now validated as a writer, and I realized that I'm just not ready to give up my writer's blog. I have willingly given just about every piece of my heart and soul to my children and I think that its ok if I keep this bit of me, my writing, to myself. So here is the deal: if you are interested in hearing about the day to day kid stuff, with pictures, and an ooey gooey mommy gushing on and on about her children visit my new blog, created just for Grammy and other people in my life who care about me and my family, and want to know about Max's first words and what Mason learned in preschool that day. And of course, it will be private to make me feel better.

As for Nic's Notes it will be staying public and I don't know what I will write about here yet, probably there will still be kid stories, but maybe there will be other stuff too. I cannot promise to post very often, but I am going to be honest and say that that's ok with me. I'm going to be selfish and write just for me, and if you aren't too put off by that you are welcome to sit back and enjoy it too.

Its time for a change

2009-01-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

Ok lately I've had this nagging feeling that I should go private. I mean when I initially created this thing it was to be a writer's blog, but since I started telling people in my real life about it, it seems that all I write about is my kids, which is great, but honestly I have no problem telling the random internet world about my thoughts on numerous issues, but I do have issues with telling the random internet world the sweet details about my children's lives. I go back and forth on this issue, but lately it has really bothered me that just anyone can peek into my kids lives. I hardly ever post anyway so really I don't know that the random internet world will miss me, but those of you that will miss me please leave me a comment to let me know that you'd still like to see my blog. If I don't have it please leave your email address so that I can grant you access, I'll turn on comment moderation so that no one's email addresses are made public.

I'm a little sad to change and I hope to come back someday committed to making that writer's blog. Maybe when I have more time for writing, so uh about the time Max leaves for college.

More Mason Quotes

2008-11-24T13:12:00.000-08:00

Today as I am working on my computer Mason sidles up to me and looks at my screen which happens to be open to my itunes, and this image

Mason patiently asks, "Why is she putting a hat on?"
I say, "I don't know."
Mason says, "Maybe she wants to be like Bob the Builder?"
I had a good laugh, because I am sure that is exactly what Brit intended to portray with that picture.

If you are feeling like you need a pick me up today find a three and a half year old and have a conversation with them, it always cheers me up.

Dumbo

2008-11-17T07:48:00.000-08:00

I love Sundays at our house. We declare it family day, we go to church and recharge our spiritual batteries, we come home, and have lunch, and then Max who is exhausted from running laps around the chapel and eating all the other kids snacks zonks out for a good two to three hour nap. That's when Shane and I calmly discuss who got the Sunday nap last week and therefore should get to hang out with Mason so the other partner can have a nap. Sunday naps are a most coveted item in the Notes household, and although we try to be civil this conversation usually ends with a wrestling match to see who can get to the bed first. Mason thinks its hilarious and knows that really he's the winner, because he doesn't have to take a nap at all.

So last weekend I lost, so while Shane took a nap Mason and I picked a movie from our extensive Disney collection. This Sunday's pick: Dumbo. Mason had never seen it before and I thought how lovely and wholesome, I forgot how sensitive my little one is... All was fine and good until the kids started making fun of Dumbo's ears. "Why are they doing that Mommy?" and then the horror when they pulled Dumbo away from his mom. My son was in anguish, "what are they doing to his mom?" and then almost pleading, "He needs his mommy!" I could see the therapy bills piling up and I asked Mason if he wanted to turn it off. "No" he said unable to tear his eyes away from the screen, "just stay here and watch it with me." "Ok, bud, I promise it will turn out ok." I put my arm around him and he snuggled in closer. So we watched together and I reassured Mason over and over again that it would all work out and I thought back to my own childhood and tried to remember how I perceived Dumbo's predicament when I saw it for the first time. Perhaps it was because I was so busy reminiscing about my own childhood that I was so unprepared for what happened next. The little mouse takes Dumbo to see his mother and from where she is chained to the wall she can't even see him she can only reach her trunk out, catch up her perfect little baby, and rock him, and yes I know you can all hear it too... "Baby mine don't you cry..." And all of a sudden I am BAWLING! Seriously an uncontainable blubberfest, and I realize that this is the first time I have seen Dumbo through a mother's eyes. This is something I was completely unprepared for, the intense empathy I can feel for Mrs. Jumbo. I was a rock before I had kids, I even remember pointing a mocking finger at my own mother who cried during Hallmark commercials. Now a cartoon elephant makes me cry. Now you can blame the increased emotionality on hormones, or age, or whatever you want, but I think that I know the truth, its a deep dark secret that no one tells you before you have kids. Its not that they don't want you to know, its not that they don't want to explain it to you, its just that there are no words that can truly describe the intensity of feeling so you wouldn't believe them anyway. I realized the truth of the secret the first time I held my tiny one his little lungs unable to work on their own, knowing that I would do anything to make him better, to take away the hurt, and also knowing that I couldn't. I couldn't fix it or make it go away, I could just hold him and rock and sing and comfort. That's when I learned the secret: that mother's are truly the strongest creatures on Earth, and also the most vulnerable because mother's have the most to lose, because holding my babies, and sheltering them from (albeit Disney induced) fear I know that I have in my arms the greatest gift to humankind, my child. Many writers have tried to describe love, but my feeling for my children is more intense, and more powerful, its not emotional, its biological, its hardwired into my soul. And if I ever were to lose...well let's not go there, its too awful, but that my friends is why Dumbo makes me cry. So the next time that sappy "Baby Mine" song comes on the old lady radio station, and your mom tears up, don't laugh or point, because now you know that you made her that way, because loving you has made her feel more deeply than any human should have to, and because although you may be grown she can still see in her mind the time when you resembled that little elephant and she lovingly rocked and sang and comforted.

At our house that time is present, and maybe that's another reason I have such tender feelings for that little Dumbo...

I think there's a bit of a resemblance.

Halloween

2008-11-04T20:47:00.000-08:00

I love Halloween, oh it is so fun. I'm not really a crafty mama, but I love to make my kid's Halloween costumes. I think I like doing it so much because my mom always made ours growing up, so in my head somewhere its written that Halloween costumes must be homemade, anyway this year the costume making became a major event. Really I thought it would be no big deal, Mason saw a picture of something he thought was so cool he just had to be...and then I thought of the perfect costume to go with it for Max, you know like a theme and then well there were two other parts to the theme to make it complete so soon Shane and I needed costumes too. Really I thought I would work on it a few evening and then we would have these adorable costumes for Halloween. I started making them the first weekend in October, and finished them...um the Wednesday before Halloween. After weeks and weeks of our house being covered in fabric scraps, hot glue bits, and ribbon the finished products finally emerged. I admit it was a much bigger project than I anticipated, but oh my...the cuteness...

We have walking

2008-09-15T20:32:00.000-07:00

Oh my! So Saturday I noticed Baby Bug standing once or twice all on his own. Now this is rather significant in and of itself mostly because this child doesn't ever stop moving. So finding the time to stand still enough to balance on only two legs is big for him. So I decided to encourage him by helping him practice standing throughout the day...By evening this was the result.

This kid never ceases to amaze me. He is so full of energy. He is still completely wobbly, too wobbly I think to be walking on his own, any other kids would spend several more weeks holding onto fingers and being walked around, but not this kid, he doesn't care he simply cannot be bothered with the fact that he doesn't know how to walk, he has too much to do and see, so he just goes and muscles his way through, and when he falls down it doesn't even phase him he just keeps on crawling. His determination just really makes me smile.

Give me the spoon already

2008-08-27T23:11:00.001-07:00

Baby bug has found new independence as of late. It actually really cracks me up to see his little determined personality growing.

This picture may look innocent enough, but if you will notice how tightly he is gripping the utensil in his hand you will see that there is no way that he plans to eat anything unless it is done properly. Baby bug now insists that all meals be eaten with a fork or spoon, unfortunately for me Baby Bug also insists that he feed himself, and even more unfortunately for me he has a hard time getting the food on his utensil of choice. So each meal consists of Baby Bug screaming until I finally give him the spoon and then said screaming continuing until I place a portion of food on that spoon for him. Also should the food fall off before the food makes rendezvous with the previously screaming mouth screaming will immediately resume.

Its so funny to see how very determined he is, and how his volume abruptly increases when things start to go south.

Little Man quote of the day

2008-07-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

So this weekend we went on a little day trip to the mountains. It was quite fun, and I think I heard one of my favorite Little Man quotes that must be written down.

Sometime during the day (after about five Capri Sun's) Little Man tromped off into the bushes with Shane to take care of some business. He returned a few minute later hopping excitedly into camp the look on his face was that of pure elation and he exclaimed with pride and gusto, "Mom! I stood on a stump, and PEED on a bush!"

It really is appreciating the little things in life that truly brings us happiness isn't it...

Conversation had at my house today

2008-06-30T14:15:00.000-07:00

Today Little Man happened on a small pile of change.

Little Man: (examining a quarter) This one has a man on it.

Me: uh-huh

Little Man: (looking at a penny) This one has a trolley.

Me: yeah it does look like a trolley doesn't it?

Little Man: What's this one?

Me: A nickel

Little Man: It has an angry station on it.

Me: An angry station?

Little Man: Yeah.

Me: Why is it angry?

Little Man: (In a don't you know voice) Because it has too many doors.

Me: Too many doors?

Little Man: Uh yeah mom.

"Awww!"

2008-06-26T10:53:00.000-07:00

Come on say it with me. Is he not the most adorable thing you have ever seen, and with two new teeth too.

The toys are talking

2008-06-26T10:23:00.001-07:00

I know, I know you've all been missing me right? Aw how my life keeps on keeping from documenting said life appropriately. What can ya do?

Anyway I have lots of catching up to do. One thing that I've been wanting to write down is this little story of sweetness. Recently Little Man has developed a new skill: pretending. All of the sudden all of the toys in our house have all kinds of things to say. Bears and guys, and trucks and cars that have been waiting for more than three years are finally able to express themselves. Oh and they have so much to say and do, it is so cute. A few weeks ago I was tempted to get mad when I came upon this scene.

Seeing as how we had only moments before made the bed I felt somewhat justified. But upon further inspection I found that this was no ordinary mess, this was necessary, because Little Man had decided while I was putting Baby Bug down for a nap that Elmo also needed a nap. He also needed a story, Little Man's favorite puppy, and a kiss goodnight.

Seriously, how precious is that?

He is growing so much all the time. I can't believe how independent he is becoming.
Although thankfully he still needs his mommy sometimes.

And yes that's him putting his coat on albeit upside down in the middle of May. Summer was a long time coming to Idaho.

The Grand Canyon Really is Grand

2008-05-06T07:43:00.000-07:00

Ok so in my last post I told you all about how Shane and I had just gotten back from the most wonderful weekend away. For three whole days, we went places without having to take along a diaper bag filled with extra outfits and snacks and wipes and various other necessities. We spent an hour by the pool and not a single whiney voice was heard. We ate at nice restaurants and didn't have to worry about irritating the couple next to us. We stayed up late and we slept in the next morning. We had a great time, but I think that the thing I enjoyed the most about our vacation was the time that we had to talk to each other. We talked and talked and talked. We learned new things about each other. We remembered things about each other that we really liked.

By far our favorite day was Sunday. We decided that we would need to get out of sin city for Sunday so we rented a car not just any car mind you, but a shiny black Corvette and drove to the Grand Canyon. Now Shane had never been to the Grand Canyon and I had only been there once as a child, so we really saw it with fresh eyes, and it was well, grand. It took our breath away and we were truly grateful to witness such a miracle.

We spent the entire day just cruising around without an agenda. It was so wonderful. I'm really grateful for my huband who works hard for our family and knows how to appreciate the good things in life. It was so enjoyable to spend the weekend with the man I love and really isn't he so handsome!

Weekend Report

2008-04-28T22:34:00.000-07:00

So Shane and I just got home from a weekend in Vegas sans children. This was about the closest I got to doing any gambling while we were there, but it was the most FABULOUS weekend.

Little Man asked me...

2008-04-25T06:09:00.000-07:00

So lately little man has been a little insecure about things, and maybe just a tad bit more clingy. I think its just a phase, so I have just tried to continually reassure him. Anyway recently I was explaining to him how I was going to leave him with a sitter (that he knows and loves) and he started to get a little nervous, and wanted to make sure that he would be taken care of and more importantly that I would come back. I pulled him up on my lap and told him that I was his mom and my most important job in the whole wide world was to take care of him and Baby Bug and that I would always make sure that there was someone to take good care of him if I had to go somewhere and that even if I did go somewhere I would always come back because there is no where in the whole world that I would rather be than with him and Baby Bug. He still seemed a little nervous so I tried to really drive my point home I said, "Heavenly Father chose me to be your mom, and that means that its my most important job to take care of you, and I will always be your mom and I will always take care of you." ('Even when you don't want me to' I thought to myself'). Little Man looked at me thoughtfully and said, "Mom who's Heavenly Father?"

"Uhhh..."

Now we talk about religious things openly and quite frequently in our house, and we offer prayers with Little Man's help all the time, and we talk about our Heavenly Father and Jesus regularly, but I suppose I have never explained everything out like I should. It seems like a major oversight now, but I suppose I just took it for granted that everyone even my three year old knows who God is. So I answered him the very best I could, but what struck me was not the answer I gave, but the rather the question itself. How do you explain God to someone so small, and innocent and whose understanding is so concrete. How do you introduce God to someone. The final answer I settled on was so simple, but Little Man was completely happy with it. Heavenly Father is someone who is in charge of the whole world, and He loves us more than anyone else, and because He loves us He watches out for us all the time, and takes care of us all the time, and one of the ways that He takes care of us is by giving us families. It was a reaffirming moment for me. I am so grateful for the raw innocence of my children, they are one of my greatest gifts from God.

Lets talk customer service.

2008-04-14T22:48:00.000-07:00

So I have a secret, ok its not really a secret, but I love gadgets, and deep inside I am a great big computer geek. For many years I have wanted to upgrade my computer, and finally a few months ago I did. I ordered what I thought would be a great little laptop computer from dell. I was so excited for my new toy I order all the best components, and even forked over the extra fifty bucks to get my sweet new computer in spring green. I waited a few weeks and then it came, my wonderful new machine. Ahh it was so beautiful, and fast, and had all of the bells and whistles. Oh I loved it. I used it everyday, I didn't even mind that I had to spend another pile of money to upgrade my other programs so that they would be compatible with Vista.

Yes, my new computer was perfect...for about three weeks. And then one day as I waited for my brand new computer to boot up I did not see my lovely welcome screen, I saw a black error screen. I re-started my computer, and the error screen did not appear again. I wrote it off as a software glitch, no big deal. Then it happened a few days later, and this time re-starting didn't work right away. Soon the black error screen was appearing more and more often, and eventually starting my computer, was next to impossible. I called customer service, waited on hold, spoke to a tech did everything that he told me to do even though I knew it would not help, and then after an hour he told me that I would need to back up my files and then reformat the hard drive. So I did and all was working well for a few weeks, until that same error screen surfaced again. I reformatted again. And then a week later found myself fighting a losing battle against the black error screen to start my computer. After two hours of trying to get it working I called customer service, the tech started the same process I had already been through to fix the problem I politely told the tech that I could not do any of the things that he wanted me to do because well my computer wouldn't turn on, and even if it would I was not doing it because, I'd already spent an hour on the phone with a tech and it did not help. My case was "escalated." 48 hours later Ronnie called me to help me fix the problem, I carefully explained the problems, I told him about how my aspiration to have the coolest gadget was slowly dying a painful death. I told him how taken advantage of I felt. I told him that I had spent what felt like a very large amount of money to buy this computer, that I now hate, because it frustrates me daily. I told him that Dell had stolen from me when they took my money and gave me a defective computer in return. I asked him if consumers should just accept that when buying from Dell getting a shoddy product was simply a risk they should accept. I went on and on and when I was done he told me he would send me a new hard drive.

So today the hard drive arrived I opened it up and looked at the seal on the static bag, there in great big letters was the word REFURBISHED. Now I don't want to sound like a diva, but I paid for a brand new "functioning" computer, not a broken one, and not a refurbished model. I called Ronnie right away and left him a message telling him so.

So here I am waiting to hear back from my customer service rep and wondering how much poor quality is acceptable. I don't remember in the product description reading "lots of RAM, big hard drive, oh yeah and may or may not work. Also in addition to the exorbitant amount of money you must plunk over for this computer you will also be required to spend large amounts of time on the phone, fixing the problems that you didn't know you ordered." I feel like I am being held hostage by Dell, while they slowly suck the life out of me. Yes they are working with me, and they are trying (although not succeeding) to fix the problem, but why is it acceptable that there is a problem to begin with. Why can't they just say, "we're sorry we sold you a lemon, here's your money back, we won't waste your time anymore." Why do I have to pay for their mistake, or I guess it was my mistake when I bought from them in the first place. Either way me and the other consumers who are in the same boat lose, and our only consolation is being able to whine about on our blogs. *Kicking and pounding fists* Its just not fair!

Self expresion through licensing

2008-04-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

So the other day I'm waiting at a red light and I see this shiny new Saab in front of me. I'm thinking to myself what a pretty car it is, and feeling a little jealous from the driver's seat of my oh so average mommy car, when I read the border around the license plate it says...
"Edward Cullen's got nothing on me"
For a brief irrational moment I wanted to jump out of my mommy car and slide into the plush passenger seat of the that Saab and let it drive me away. Then the light turned green and we all returned to our regularly scheduled lives.

He's not a picky eater...

2008-04-05T22:46:00.000-07:00

He just knows what he likes.

New Addition

2008-04-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know its been forever, we've been swamped here at the Note's household. One fun event that we celebrated recently was the momentous third birthday of a certain little man. Shane and I struggled with what to give little man for his birthday he has way too many toys that he doesn't play with already, and then Shane thought of the perfect thing. Internet meet our new pet Bown...

Yes you read that one right the fish's name is Bown as in rhymes with down. Little Man named him all by himself. He is a great pet, Little Man can't wait to feed him each night, and Bown dutifully rises to the top of the tank and eats the fish food, which absolutely delights Little Man. After picking up Bown we spent the rest of the evening eating pizza and cake with family. Little Man told me that he wanted a "car cake with a giraffe." Check it out: This mom delivers.

Checking in

2008-03-31T22:40:00.000-07:00

Many of you have pointed out to me that I haven't posted in some time... My excuse is simply the ordered chaos that is my life. I promise I'll get back on top of it soon.

Boys!

2008-03-09T17:29:00.000-07:00

Well my friends I know its been awhile, and I swear I have a good excuse namely one case of the flu and one fabulous third birthday party that had to be put on, but I'm back now. And while I am sure that I will be blogging about the illness and the party eventually that is not what has brought me back to you today. It was another little gem that I had to put down on paper (or screen) so as not to loose it to the ages.

So there are days when being the only female in my house I truly feel out numbered. Today Shane took it upon himself to teach Little Man the ancient and bewildering art of making armpit noises. Little Man was indeed awed and inspired and immediately stuck an arm in his shirt and started wildly waving his other arm up and down trying to emulate his father, but alas not a sound was heard. He pulled his hand out of his shirt and looked it over carefully, and then held it up so that his parents could also see the discrepancy then in case we didn't fully understand (which we didn't) he said sadly, "look no squeaker." I smiled and said, "Its ok bud, Mom didn't get one either."

Hmmm

2008-02-29T20:58:00.000-08:00

I think that somewhere embedded in the Y chromosome there is a car gene. Shane called home from his work trip this week to tell me about his most amazing, wonderful day. Over the phone I could hear the pure elation in his voice. Seriously, I don't know if I've ever heard the man so excited "kid in a candy store" does not describe it well enough it was more like "kid in a candy store, at Disney land, on Christmas eve." He was thrilled. Why you ask? Well he was scheduled to go to a conference in Southern California, and had had to arrive a day early. So while standing in line for his rental car he contemplated what he would do...You know perfect weather, a whole day ahead of him with nothing planned...Hmmm there are lots of things that I would have suggested had I been there, but I wasn't (I was home trying to stay sane with the children, but that's another post entirely) he was there instead with a co-worker who also happens to be a car lover like my husband. SO what does he do...He upgrades...

Oh the fun...

2008-02-26T09:32:00.000-08:00

If necessity is the mother of invention, then little boys are the big brothers inventing fun out of just about anything. We have a new game in our house its called "Tato Jumping" it works like this.

First one stands in front of the sofa on our little ottoman

Then you jump...

Then the you lay there and laugh and laugh until you've recovered enough to do it again.

Playing the Tato Game often leads to a build up of static electricity which has also led to the invention of the very fun "Finger Shock" game.

In case you were wondering the "Tato" (pronounced tay-toe) is in fact not a large potato, but actually a big bean bag thing that just happens to be the same color and shape as the well known tubers.

Pay Attention Mom!

2008-02-21T21:50:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that communicating with me must be such a lot of work for Little Man. Especially when he clearly explains things and I. Just. Don't. Get. It.

Tonight in the continuing quest to get my child to consume more calories I ask him if he wants butter on his bread, at first he declines then after a thoughtful moment he gets really excited and exclaims that he wants butter, but not just any butter he wants yellow cupcake butter. I look at him confused, because I know I went along with the Cheetos thing, but there is no way he is having cupcakes for dinner, besides that we don't have any. Little Man gets all flustered and maintains that we DO have yellow cupcake butter. I tell him to show me and what do ya know we do...

Mommies leave your personal space at the door...

2008-02-15T21:29:00.000-08:00

Sometime I feel like raising small children is like walking into a den of raccoons with a pocket full of crackers. I feel like I am constantly getting pawed at. Whether its Baby Bug needing my breasts for his food and general pacification, or Little Man who insists he must be touching me in some way All. The. Time. I admit there are days that I just want to scream out rules about personal space to my little ones, and I admit I often have to remind myself that my kids only want to be near me and that there will come a time when they don't and I will really wish for this time back, so I must not ruin it by being grumpy. And even then I still sometimes get a little selfish with my body and firmly suggest that Little Man keep his hand/foot/mouth away from my face/ear/arm/leg/hair. So Little Man decided to give me a little reminder a few days ago...

As I was walking around the kitchen cleaning up the lunch aftermath Little Man took to putting a hand in each of my back pockets and "following me" as I worked. After a few seconds of this fun, I asked him, "why are you doing this me?" Not understanding sarcasm yet Little Man piped right up with his answer, "Because I love you mom."
PAUSE
Ok Little Man proceed...and I love you too.

The Great Potato Escape

2008-02-12T21:28:00.000-08:00

I opened my box of potatoes for dinner tonight and found that my potatoes had been hatching a plan during their weeks in the pantry.

Note to self: Use the potatoes before they have time to grow scary arms and hash out plans of rebellion.

To give credit where its due I must say that although I often personify my foods and other inanimate things in my little world, I have never thought to share it with the rest of you until I read this post. If you don't know her already go check out that Pioneer Woman, she is hilarious, takes lovely pictures, and her recipes are oh so good.

On another side note:Some of you may remember this post and well those water bottles are in fact the very dishes I was referencing, and yes they have been left exactly twelve inches from the sink.

Potty Training: Another Learning Experience

2008-02-09T20:12:00.002-08:00

So in November I declared that it was time to start potty training little man. I now I stand here three months later the mother of a big boy, who hardly ever has accidents, and I can say that it has been a harrowing journey and as a recovering parenting know-it-all I can say with humility that I have learned much. I have learned that...

1. You can lead a toddler to the toilet, but you can't make him pee. Seriously! There is no amount of pleading, bribing, threatening, or bargaining that will make a two year old go pee if he doesn't want to. This is the most important piece of knowledge I can share with my fellow mommies because...

2. As soon as your toddler learns the above he will become giddy with power and well you will have to give up and try again in a few weeks (or months).

3. You must wait until they are darn good and ready. I picked a convenient time for us to start potty training. That is to say that after I thought Baby Bug was fully integrated into the household, but we were still in that new baby stay home all the time mode, I thought it would be a great time to potty train as we were home anyway...Little Man not so much (refer to #1 and 2).

4. Even when they are darn good and ready you will have to convince them that the potty is AWESOME, because diapers are so much easier. You must act like he is peeing rainbows and pooping gold stars. Think Pollyanna on steroids.

5. Finding the right reward for your child is key because see #1. For us it was some good old fashioned verbal praise (see #4), a sticker chart, the occasional marshmallow, and this potty chair playing a royal fanfare every time he peed on it.

6. After he is fully potty trained, you deserve a serious vacation. Of course it isn't going to happen, but let's all close our eyes and dream about it for just a minute.

When I started my journey I read Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day: Proven Secrets of the Potty Pro I thought it was very helpful, although as has been well documented potty training in a day was just not in the cards for us, but it did have some good reminders on being more positive, patient, and making the whole experience more fun and less painful. The potty party that the author suggests was a great way to introduce the whole concept to Little Man. I also invested in a "Potty Time Elmo" which was a huge hit, Little Man got a kick out of Elmo's shrill little voice saying "Elmo has to go potty!" although late at night when I hear that same thing randomly coming from the toy box it is a tad bit creepy. He and Elmo both had charts and Little Man was so very proud of his progress

And I have to say that I am so very proud of him.

Parenting 101: Sometimes cheetos are a part of a balanced breakfast

2008-02-05T19:48:00.000-08:00

Or lunch or dinner...

This week in my house I have been learning another parenting lesson that I didn't learn in all my years of parenting education. Let me tell you this is significant, because I spent many years of my professional career BEFORE I had children teaching parenting. I'm not saying that I didn't have some good information to share with my students and clients, but I am saying that there was a lot that I thought I knew before I had kids, but I found out that there was so much more that I didn't know I didn't know. That being said, I think that my husband will agree that I am still usually the parenting expert in our house, which I admit has given me a bit of a professional mommy ego. So you can imagine my reaction this week when I saw my husband make great progress in a parenting battle we have been fighting since my sons babyhood by giving him Cheetos.

Since our Little Man was old enough to eat foods he has been a picky eater. Now this was a parenting lesson in and of itself, because I had silently judged all of those parents of picky eaters in my childless days. Knowing that that was a learned behavior that those parents had allowed their children to acquire. Oh yes my friends my horse was high and the fall has been considerable. Even as a baby the kid had a natural ability to forcefully eject any unwanted food from his mouth, and did. He REFUSES to try new foods, he eats only from what we call the beige food group, this food group consists of exactly three foods: bread, milk, and occasionally cheese. The kid won't even eat ice cream. Anyway all along I have been taking my own well meant parenting advice that was this, "You can't make him eat, so don't turn it into a control battle you can't win," and "He won't let himself starve, so don't stress over it." Lately that last bit has been hard to believe, because honestly when you can fit everything that your child eats in a day into a tablespoon, and count all of his little tiny ribs you start to worry, and you to start to doubt the know-it-all childless you. You start to wonder if your child is so used to feeling hungry, that he doesn't know when he's really hungry. Then the first piece of advice starts to haunt you because you know that it is true (at least you were right about something) and you start to feel trapped, and worried.

Finally with my son's hunger strike reaching frightening proportions this weekend Shane decided any food was better than no food and took Little Man to the grocery store where he picked out his own family size bag of Cheetos, a food that momma with her large parenting ego had banned. Knowing that my plan of passive insistence wasn't working however I did not argue, but I must admit I did not think that it would work.

Little Man was soooo excited about his Cheetos and Shane put a little pile on his plate next to three dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. Little Man ate his Cheetos with gusto and then wanted more, Shane gently told him that he would be happy to get him some more as soon as he ate some dinos, I sat back waiting to be right, and then what should my eyes behold, but a little boy eating three WHOLE chicken nuggets, an entire string cheese, and a granola bar, with Cheetos mixed in. It was like Thanksgiving dinner for a preschooler, it was a miracle. Since then almost every meal has included Cheetos...this morning Little Man came to me and told me he wanted breakfast, I don't remember the last time he told me he wanted a meal, and do you know what he had for breakfast yes Cheetos, AND oatmeal! The kid wanted to try oatmeal! I don't think that this boy has had oatmeal since he was a baby (and even then he spit it right back out at me). Seriously I'm dabbing at little mommy tears right now.

So I learned that sometimes a few Cheetos can get you a long way and that dads do things differently from moms and sometimes different is just what the Little Man needs.

What will they think of next? and the week in pictures

2008-02-03T20:18:00.000-08:00

These things come with demo babies now?

I call this one "Dad You Missed a Spot"

And really I can say that this one probably deserves a post of its own, but its not getting it, because I'm busy like that. This is just another example of how this boy loves his dad. Everything that dad does is magic, and cool, and exciting. Little Man followed Shane around for half an hour helping him paint the walls. When I asked him what he was doing he said with pride, "I'm learning to help dad!." How sweet is that?

We tried solid foods this week,
and I think that if Baby bug could talk he would have said, "Oh man! Where has this stuff been hiding my whole life?" He loved it.

And last, but not least...I call this one "Mom I'm Tired of Blogging"

The mall, not just for shoppers anymore

2008-02-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

Holy schmoley! Can you say cabin fever? We can.

With our recent bout with illness and it being a balmy 2 degrees outside, all.the.time. I can say that the kids and I have not left the house in what feels like weeks although its probably only been a week. So we ventured out for our first outing on Wednesday. Where do you go when its cold out and you live in our town? Well I'll be honest there aren't a lot of options. In fact I could only think of one...The mall.

Can I say that the mall is no longer just a place for old ladies and juvenile delinquents the mall is a happenin' place for three year olds and their desperate mommies everywhere. I don't know why nobody told me sooner.

The mall has rides...

And snacks...
And a play area, where if you go before three p.m. your kid won't get clobbered by any big kids that are definitely over the height resriction (yeah you know who you are).

There is also a great fountain that you can throw pennies into. Little Man LOVES to throw his money in the fountain.

Even a Baby Bug enjoys having new things to look at.

And if your a lucky mommy when you leave this magical retail emporium this...

and this...

will be the result, and may you just have to drive around the block a few extra times to revel in the quiet (that you know will be over the minute the car turns off) before going home.

Photos

2008-01-30T15:04:00.000-08:00

So I've long wanted to learn how to make my photos look better and I stumbled onto this website. Its been really informative. This week I read all about using levels and curves to make pictures look better, this was my practice picture.

Before:

After:

Cool eh?

Cha-cha-cha-Changes

2008-01-28T23:30:00.000-08:00

O.k. that last design didn't work for me, so I'm trying something new. Do you like it? Seriously, be honest, does it make me look cool?

Work...

2008-01-25T22:00:00.000-08:00

When Little Man was born I quit my job as a social worker, I said goodbye to the world of family dysfunction and abuse to take care of my sweet little babe. I had spent years working to help little children whose lives were horribly unfair and whose futures were, I'm deeply saddened to say, very dismal. It was a job I put my whole heart into, but often came home at the end of the day feeling defeated by my inability to help enough. When Little Man was born I was filled up with the joy I felt knowing that to him I could really make a difference, that he was one child whose future I could protect, I could build him up and my work would not be undone. It was a wonderful feeling, I walked away from my job where I had thought that I was so needed and to this day I have rarely looked back.

In fact I can say that there are only a few things that I really miss about the working world. On occasion I miss the conversation...you know a conversation where grown up topics are discussed and where prompting your fellow conversationalist to "say please" or "use his big boy words" is not generally necessary. Some days I miss dressing up in work clothes, I know it sounds silly, but when its 4:00 p.m. and you haven't showered yet, sometimes you miss the sound that your heels made as you walked into the staff meeting with makeup AND jewelry on. But I think the thing that I miss the most is sick days. Yep you got it, those feeling lousy so you call in and say your not coming and then you go back to bed, until you wake up ON YOUR OWN, and then you stay in bed and watch t.v. all day and eat chicken noodle soup days. Mommies don't get sick days. What you say? Mommies don't get sick...No mommies get sick they just don't get time off to do it.

After a week of caring for a sick baby and his older brother (who decided to join the fun two days ago). You'd think this mommy deserves a prize, or something, but what DOES she get? A big fat awful head cold...Seriously, seriously?

When I explained to Little Man that I couldn't play race cars today because I was sick he looked at me worriedly and asked, "Do you have to go to the hospital?" Apparently my days being MIA from home because I was at the hospital trying to keep my blood pressure down while I was in my last month of pregnancy really had an impact on him. I explained that I was only a little sick, and so I didn't have to go to the hospital because you only go there when you are a lot sick. He was relieved and kindly covered me with his "blankie" (a high honor to be sure) and used my limp body as a speed bump. Oh well, its nice to be needed.

Heard at my house

2008-01-23T12:33:00.000-08:00

So we've been riding the potty train with Little Man lately, which has started some unique conversations at our house.

Little Man: Whatcha doing mom?

Me: Changing the sheets on my bed

Little Man: Who peed? Was it you?

Me: No, sometimes we just change the sheets on our bed.

Little Man: Was it Baby Bug?

Me: No

Little Man: IT WAS DAD!

The Cosmic Bank

2008-01-20T22:22:00.000-08:00

I once had a time in my life where I was the recipient of a great deal of kindness and service from my family and friends. I was overwhelmed by the love and kindness that was shown to me, and felt completely undeserved, and truth be told I may have been, it was then that I was introduced to what in my family is called "The Cosmic Bank." The cosmic bank is where all good deeds go, we all have a revolving account where we make deposits and we make withdrawals. The tricky thing with the cosmic bank is that we never know when we will need to make a withdrawal, so we have to continue to make deposits whenever we get the chance. This week we had some neat experiences doing both. Shane and I were both able to provide small services to those in need this week, and I must say that we both felt all warm and fuzzy about it, besides that they were small things that we did, no big deal, just a little deposit in our cosmic bank account. Who knew that we would be needing to make a big old withdrawal too. So fast forward to Sunday night Baby Bug who has had a cough for several days learns to whistle. No he's not a shoe in for the next baby talent show, because his mouth isn't whistling, but his lungs are. So Shane and I start trying to decide if this warrants the ever dreaded trip to the emergency room. We don't want to go, but Baby sounds awful, so we decide to tromp on over the next door neighbor's house who also happens to be our pediatrician for some advice. The neighbor drops everything he is doing leaves his house guests and goes to his office to get a stethoscope. Then a few minutes later after listening to Baby Bug, he makes another trip back to the office to get more equipment and medication. So forty-five minutes and one nebulizer treatment later Baby Bug is breathing a little easier, our neighbor is able to go back to his guests, and Shane and I are feeling really grateful for good neighbors, and a skilled pediatrician. We are also feeling worried that our cosmic account is perhaps a little overdrawn, and we think that maybe we need to make some even bigger deposits in the near future, not just for the warm and fuzzy feeling, but for the piece of mind that doing the right thing for someone else is really just saving something for a rainy day.

Another thing that I learned is that my baby has a unique sense of humor. We have been trying just about everything to get a good belly laugh out of our Baby Bug lately, and nothing...we put a nebulizer mask on him and he thinks its hillarious...go figure.

Having dad home was the best thing about Christmas time.

2008-01-16T13:15:00.000-08:00

How much is too much

2008-01-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

Last weekend the boys and I enjoyed a fun visit to Grammy's house. We had a great time, but the highlight of the entire weekend was probably when we took the TRAIN downtown to the Build a Bear Workshop. Who would have thought that public transit could inspire such wonder, and sheer joy. Little man could not believe his luck when the train pulled up and we climbed aboard, he was not discomforted by the hoodlums contemplating vandalism around us, or the odd people smell that made me clutch my Purell like it was gold. He was in awe, it was an adventure...score points for the fun mommy.

Once we arrived at the workshop, again there was more awe from my child, and I had the odd sensation that we were walking into a trap. We were greeted at the door by a happy helper in a smart uniform who directed us to the wall of bears we could make. Little man had a good time filling his bear, and giving it a bath, and brushing it off, but thankfully started to lose interest before we got to the oh so cute, and oh so bill increasing clothing and accessories. All in all it was a fun experience and little man enjoyed it thoroughly, although I think that he was most impressed by the "house" he got to take his bear home in, but as I was paying for our fun, my mom who was with us (and has an uncanny knack for hitting the nail on the head) helped me put to words the odd feeling I had had when we walked in the store. The whole conversation went something like this...

BUILD-A-BEAR LADY: Have you heard about our rewards program?

ME: No

BUILD-A-BEAR LADY: Well its a program where for every $200 you spend you get...

MY MOM: A big stamp on your forehead that says sucker.

BUILD-A-BEAR LADY: (somewhat crestfallen) $10 off you next purchase.

At that point I politely declined the rewards program and we quickly exited the store, Grammy laughingly apologized for any embarrassment she might have caused with her errant comment, but then validated it by saying, "But honestly, there are starving children in this world." And I think that I have to side with my mother. With the passing of Christmas I have been thinking a great deal about how much is too much, when does giving our kids things cross the line from helping our kids to hurting them? I realized that the gimmick at the workshop was not the teddy bears at all, but rather the notion it gave parents that they were doing something magical with their kids. That's it, the workshop was selling at least a facade of quality time, and we had bought into it. As I rode home on the train clutching my hand sanitizer and trying to mirror the excitement on my little man's face, I realized that its moments like these that we as parents are always trying to capture with our children and its moments like these that often get passed over for the quicker, more comfortable car ride. And when they get passed over enough times we find ourselves at the Build-a-Bear Workshop forking over our $20, or $40 dollars so that we can feel like the fun mommy again. I suppose it does no harm and even is the special memory we want it to be, if done in small doses, but I think after careful evaluation I've decided that joining the "rewards" club will be far too great a sacrifice for me and my children, we'll take the train instead.

Play Dough

2007-12-31T14:31:00.000-08:00

I have made a new goal to be a fun mommy, well at least a little bit fun mommy, so little man and I have been doing some projects together. A few days ago we got out the play dough. Now I know that many of you mommies out there fun or not are cringing at the idea of play dough in all its crumbly easily squished into carpet messiness, but I decided to be brave and give it a try with my two year old. Well he loved it, and took to it immediately, carefully squishing and rolling and molding. The boy was in heaven I have never seen him work so intently on ANYTHING. Just look at the concentration on that face. He was like one of the great masters at work, carefully choosing his tools and making his shapes and marks in the dough.

Soon more colors were called for and there was more precise, careful work applied to the dough, I knew that my little Michaelangelo was making something wonderful, and not wanting to interrupt the creative process I stood back and waited patiently for the finished masterpiece. Finally my little man carefully lined up his three finished sculptures and announced with pride, "look mom! They're raccoons."

And yes there in front of me were the three most beautiful raccoons I had ever seen. They were totally worth the mess.

Alternate Christmas Cards

2007-12-17T06:48:00.000-08:00

The other day I took pictures of the kids for a Christmas card. I found that it was difficult to get them both to smile at the same time... But we did get some funny shots Christmas card material?...maybe not, but funny? oh yes!

Brides and Grooms

2007-12-15T10:43:00.000-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2007-11-14T12:16:00.001-08:00

"Ahh Juice!"

Why children's programing is for kids

2007-11-07T08:28:00.000-08:00

So I must admit that with the addition of baby bug to our family little man has been watching a bit more television than usual. Maybe its just my nature to think about things too much, but I have spent way too much time thinking about my little ones favorite shows from my adult point of view. It all started when he was watching Johnny and the Sprites and I thought to myself hmmm, a man who lives all alone in the woods and sees "sprites" that only he can see...sure... that sounds healthy, someone needs to get that guy some medication. I've also been worried about Christopher Robin, you know Pooh and Tigger and the rest of the gang get their contract renewed, but after years of being the main boy Christopher gets replaced by a younger hipper girl named Darby? You can't tell that doesn't affect a kids self-esteem. And is anyone else waiting for Handy Manny to work up the courage to just ask Kelly out, I mean you can't tell me that he goes to the hardware store every. single. day. just for supplies, I mean no one is that bad at plannng ahead. And seriously why doesnt' Caillou have hair? And don't even get me started on Barney. Like I said we really have been watching a lot of t.v. lately. Hopefully soon we'll be back to our old active selves, but until then little man will be enjoying his shows, and I'll just have to pay attention to something else.

Update

2007-11-01T22:42:00.000-07:00

I have to say that everybody warned me that the transition from one to two children would be difficult, in fact people talked about it like it was this harrowing experience that might just do me in, but I am so happy to report that I really feel like I am in baby heaven. Maybe its because due to his prematurity little man's birth and babyhood was somewhat stressful, and as much as I love him, it is more than fair to say that he was a difficult baby. Baby bug has been such a joy to have around, and even little man has said that he's good enough to keep.

last night Halloween was a ball little man loved trick or treating.

What I did this summer

2007-10-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

Duhn, duh, duh, da...

Yep he's here, he's adorable, and he's actually a month old. I'm still reeling a bit from the shock of having two children instead of one, but I promise one of these days I'll blog his birth story. For now ya'll must be content to just revel in his cuteness.

Gonna be gone for awhile...

2007-08-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

I know what you are all thinking "like that's new," but hey at least I'm telling you ahead of time. After feeling rather under the weather, and then spending three days in the hospital, my doctor has concluded that I am NOT preeclamptic (phew) but I do have rather high blood pressure so I have been sentenced to complete bed rest for as long as I can keep this baby in. We have thankfully just passed the 32 week mark which is when little man was born so Shane and I are feeling optimistic, and like every week we get after that is truly a gift.

I don't know when I will be on again, but I will try to post updates when I can. Thanks to all my friends and family for your support.

In honor of Ms. Rowling

2007-07-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

My husband thinks that we have a house elf. To confirm this I asked him as pleasantly as I could yesterday what magic elf he thought was coming through and cleaning up his dishes each morning. Now this man isn't stupid and that's why I love him of course. He paused looked at me and said, "It isn't an elf its a princess." Thanks...I think, but put your dishes in the sink o.k.

Our vacation at home

2007-07-11T21:44:00.000-07:00

Last week Shane took the whole week (and the Thursday and Friday before that) off of work. I was worried at first that we would not be able to find enough things to do and that we would regret not using the vacation time to go somewhere exotic and expensive, but I was so very wrong. Our vacation at home was bliss I absolutely loved it.

Thursday we dusted off the four wheeler and went for a ride, grandpa was gracious enough to let us borrow his too and we had a great time. Little man looked especially cute in his helmet that made his head appear to be roughly four times its actual size, and yes its the sunglasses again could the kid be any more stylin'?

Friday we embarked on a camping trip with friends, it was so fun. Little man literally just rolled in the dirt for two days...he was in heaven. I am happy to say that he also slept like a champ in his own little sleeping bag, which made the trip much more pleasant for mommy and daddy.

Wednesday was spent doing all of the usual Fourth of July activities. Parades were watched, barbecues were attended, and fireworks were seen. Little man was a little upset with all of the loud noises until Shane came up with this plan...

That man o' mine he is a genius. Little man loved his "headphones" and instead of spending the entire time during the fireworks huddled in terror on our laps, he actually got a little bored during the show...eh, what can ya do?

We spent alot of days just at home too, we took naps, we ate out, we went on bike rides, it was fabulous.

For a finale to our vacation at home we headed to cache valley on Saturday. Logan is where Shane and I met, and dated. We both went to and graduated from college there. It is also where we spent our first years of marriage. It is where our first house is, and it is where the mountains are. For these reasons we love Logan, and we love to visit it. We decided to go down there for the annual "cruise in" a fun classic car show, but while we were there we visited some of our other favorite spots, and even ate at our most favorite Chinese place YU-MEEE. We took the time to drive up Logan canyon and visit Tony's Grove. This was probably one of my favorite things on our visit, because I love the mountains. I grew up in Salt Lake City at the base of the mountains, and I LOVE the mountains. I honestly can say that being surrounded by mountains makes me feel so comforted, much like I imagine little man feels about his blankie. Yes I can live without them, but when I am near them I just want to wrap them around me and take a nap. Seriously I love the mountains (did I mention that I love the mountains). After I'd soaked up some nature time we made our way back down to the valley and watched the main street car parade. Now I already told you what I love, but Shane loves something else entirely (besides me of course) Shane love cars. He LOVES them, so he was in heaven watching all of the meticulously painted, souped up, washed daily by hand, costs more than we want to know cars go up and down the street for two hours. Little man liked it too although some of the cars were a bit loud for his taste.

We had so much fun altogether, and all of us were sad when Shane had to go back to work on Monday, ah such is life.

ABC's and accessorizing...

2007-06-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

So guess who is taking a nap in his big boy bed right now? You got it, the little man is snoozing away, we haven't taken out the crib yet, just moved the bed in and he loves it so I guess we'll cross our fingers and hope this takes.

In other news I took this cute video of Bugaboo the other day. He loves to sing the ABC's sure he doesn't get ALL the letters, but for sure the cuteness of the glasses make up for it.

Creative Play Anyone?

2007-05-29T10:46:00.002-07:00

So a few weeks ago I was so proud of myself, because I put together some really cute file folder games. You know some lovely laminated games on file folders with pieces that Velcro right to it. The kind that the same ladies who have color coordinated snack cups at church have. I was very proud of myself, and even more proud when Bugaboo found them and became enthralled playing with them. So enraptured was he by the new found games that I thought I could sneak away for a few minutes to clean the kitchen floor. Little did I know but in that time Bugaboo had found a new and even better feature of the little game pieces.

Yes they do stick quite nicely to a diaper, don't they?
In my defense I must say that Bugaboo does not spend all day in his diaper everyday, this was a special occasion inspired by this post over at Total Mom Haircut. We had a few minutes earlier been creating masterpieces with water paint.
I tell ya, he's not just a genius he is a creative genius.

Still getting older

2007-04-26T22:50:00.000-07:00

So today I am getting ready to teach my class and I look in the mirror to make sure I look professional and grown up, so that people will take me seriously as I'm doling out parenting advice, and I saw it. There it was hanging out right out at the top my head like it had a right to be there or something. It was just looking at me, taunting me, waving lazily at my youth as it slid one more inch away down the slippery slope of life. And what you ask did I do about this intruder in my hair. This one single, wiry GRAY hair, I reached up and forcefully yanked it out. I will not be beaten that easily.

Huh?

2007-04-22T11:22:00.000-07:00

So I just found out that it is time for my TEN year high school reunion, huh!?! When did that happen? I mean how can that be I'm only 22 right?...oh wait, and its not like I have a bunch of kids and live in the suburbs...oh wait.

O.K. fine I'm not as young as I used to be, at least I am proud of all I've accomplished in the last ten years, and I don't have to feel the pressures of all the high school social games anymore. Now, could somebody come over and watch my kid for the next few weeks, I have to write, and publish a best selling novel, or cure cancer before June 9th.

The Long Absence

2007-04-18T11:21:00.000-07:00

So I know that I haven't been a good blogger for quite some time now. I have know one to blame, but myself, but well I just haven't felt quite up to it.

Fist there was this:

And that then there was two months of puking and feeling like a zombie, where I just didn't feel like doing anything.

And then The puking went away, but I still didn't feel like doing anything. And I mean NOTHING. The laundry was piling up, and I didn't care, I was even too apathetic to argue with SHane about what we should name the new bundle of joy. As far as I was concerned it didn't even feel like a bundle of joy. It was a strange feeling, and after a few weeks I started to worry that there was something wrong. I talked to my doctor, she thought the hormones were making me a little depressed, she prescribed drugs. I was scared of the drugs, not for me, but for the baby, what if they weren't good for this little one growing inside of me. I fretted about it all day. Then I prayed about it. That morning I woke up at four a.m. I couldn't sleep so I set up on the couch and flipped on the T.V. The discovery channel had some show about adoption on, this poor family had to wait four months to get there adopted baby from India. It was touching. Then I watched two episodes of A Baby Story. I felt happy for the happy families that were having babies, but I thought to myself 'they don't know what I know about childbirth. THey don't know that something can go wrong.' If you want the back story go here. That's when it hit me. That's why I was apathetic, that's why I didn't want to get to excited, this pregnancy was scaring me to death, and I didn't even know it. Deep down in the recesses of my brain, I was protecting myself by not getting to attached to this pregnancy. And then a new softly spoken little thought entered my head it said 'Nicole, what went so wrong?' And I thought of my little two year old bugaboo up in his little bed, sleeping. Yes he came two months early, and yes it was scary, but we did it, he's ok, he's a miracle.

It was like a magic pill...way better than the stuff my doctor prescribed. Realizing I had some major trauma and fear lingering in my past, helped me to face it, and when I faced it I saw that it really wasn't so scary. I can handle this, and I am so excited for this baby now.

I have felt tons better this last week or so, and I even have the laundry almost caught up. I can't promise I'll be a better blogger, I'm doing it on my own schedule, but I hope I'll be able to write more often...ok I'll at least post when the baby gets here.

And just for fun here is Bugaboo sleeping, isn't that the sweetest thing you've eva seen?

Babies Again

2007-03-09T12:46:00.000-08:00

These were the most beautiful pictures of Shelah's new baby that I got the pleasure of making into announcements. Its actually been a few week since these were made, but I am just now getting a chance to post them here and in the gallery on the Song Bird website.

Isn't she the most divine little baby? I think that these have been some of my most favorite announcements to work on.

And remember if any of you folks out there need announcements, don't forget that I give lovely discounts to my bloggy friends...

Daddy's Boy

2007-02-03T12:07:00.000-08:00

This was the scene this morning when Shane tried to use the bathroom by himself.
This...

and then this...

That little boy loves his dad, which is one of the many priceless and immeasurable benefits of parenting, unfortunately for Shane peaceful bathroom breaks are not also included in this benefits package.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

2007-02-01T07:56:00.000-08:00

Ok this morning I am feeling seriously grumpy...why you ask? Oh you bet I am going to tell you. First of all Bugaboo thought that it would be totally awesome if he woke up at the crack of dawn, yeah kid that was AWESOME. Then I had to spend my morning cleaning up the mess from the dinner that I made last night just before I ran out the door to go to work. GRRRR!

Do any of you moms out there feel like Sisyphus the Greek who was condemned by the Gods to continually roll a great boulder to the top of a hill only to watch it roll back down again? Only instead of a boulder its a big ol' pile of laundry, and unlike Sisyphus you don't get to roll it up the hill in peace you have to do it with a toddler attached to one leg.

Love that boy

2007-01-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

So last night we're driving in the car, Bugaboo is engaging in his usually torrent of nonsense jabber inter-mingled with some words I can recognize. Then he stops he is quiet for a minute and then says to me "lub you Mommy." He has never said this to me before so I fight back the tears and say "I love you too."

"Tankyou, mama." Is his reply.

I'm ba-ack...did you miss me?

2007-01-16T23:33:00.000-08:00

Ok don't answer that.

Seriously I know its been forever, but really I've been swamped. First Shane was gone for two weeks, then there was Christmas, then we went on vacation, then Bugaboo got pneumonia, (which I totally know how to spell because I wrote about it two months ago when I had it), and actually that was while we were on vacation, so we got a bonus of seeing the San Diego urgent care, and all of its lovely locals. Things really have been busy.

First of all Christmas: I think its been a long time since I have been this excited for a Christmas. Last year Bugaboo's favorite Christmas activity was eating the wrapping paper, this year was so different, this year will forever be known as the "Year of the Trains." About six weeks ago. Bugaboo started showing an especial affection for trains, and especially yep you guessed it...Thomas. I don't know how this happened, but the boy is obsessed. When he wakes up in the morning the first thing he says to me it "trains!" The boys loves trains. So Christmas was so fun because well he LOVED the presents that we got him. I could barely sleep on Christmas eve I was excited myself to see him open the gifts it was a wonderful magical morning. Bugaboo spent the entire morning playing with his new trains, and was the most pleasant happy boy all day long, he even went down for a nap without complaining, although he did have to take one of his new trains with him.

So after Christmas we went on a trip. Shane has been traveling with work so much lately that we decided it would be a good idea to finally take advantage of all the vacation time that he has accrued and have some family time. We headed off to the much sunnier than Idaho shores of San Diego. Bugaboo was a star on the plane. We went to Sea World which was a hit. We hit the beach which was sandy and salty and lovely. The only bump in the road was the morning that we woke up to the sound of Bugaboo wheezing and struggling to breath. Let me tell you how quickly a fun trip can into something frightening, and also how much I hate my insurance. Seriously Aetna when someone calls you to say that they are in a strange city, and they do not know where even a hospital is, and her child is struggling to breathe, and could you please direct us to an emergency room on your ridiculous preferred provider list, even the ignorant fourteen-year-old that you have answering the phone should have at least offered me some sympathy after he proved to be thoroughly useless in finding me a doctor. An "I'm sorry I can't help you more," would have even been better than the, "Uh...like, I don't know," that I got. But I digress...We did find Bugaboo a doctor and after four hours in the urgent care department with a very sad little boy we were sent home with antibiotics. We stayed in the rest of the day, but by the next day Bugaboo was doing much better *phew* he seemed almost completely back to his normal self, so we ventured out and even spent about two hours at the zoo. We did the speed tour of the zoo, which meant we basically visited only the animals that we don't have at the local zoo. I really wanted a Koala bear for a pet, but alas its like illegal or something. Even with the illness it was a nice trip. We came home feeling refreshed, that is until I saw the pile of laundry we had made. Oh well, back to real life.

Since then I've just been playing catch up with my life, sorry my bloggy friends that I haven't been around I will try to do much better.

Bugaboo and the Tunnel

2007-01-12T12:35:00.001-08:00


We love trains

Babies Again

2006-12-11T00:02:00.000-08:00

Just finished these announcements for a friend. What a cute little baby.

The top one is the one that she decided to print. That was my favorite too. I love it when the the song bird gets orders, it makes me feel cool, and less worn-out-mommy-ish. Not that being the worn out mommy isn't a good thing to be too, its just nice to have a change now and then.

Christmas Memories

2006-12-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

Wow! Still swamped...not that I am looking for sympathy from any of you folks. Yeah I read your blogs I know you all have your Christmas shopping done, your decorations up, your blog written in, and you are just as busy as me. I am in awe of all of you. So I know I don't deserve any sympathy, just wanted to explain the long absence. I don't even really have time to post today, but oh, this is such a cute story I have to document it.

SO the other day I did get the Christmas tree up, and pulled out some of the other decorations. I did most of the work while Bugaboo was napping, so when he woke up he was enraptured by all of the new things in his world. He was immediately drawn to my nativity, which I had put on the coffee table. Since Bugaboo usually claims all of the real estate on the coffee table for himself I thought we might have some issues. I carefully explaiend to him that this was Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus, and they were very nice to look at, but we couldn't play with them, becasue they were very special and we had to treat them nicely. Bugaboo was so sweet he got his face as close as he could to the Holy Family and exclaimed a reverently awed "ohhh." I thought it might work, I might get to keep my centerpiece the way it was, and soon we moved on to putting ornaments on the tree. Bugaboo started helping me decorate the Christmas tree (if you can call anything that an almost two year old does helping). He was really digging seeing all the ornaments. Then we pulled out the little lamb ornament. The little lamb ornament, is one of my favorite ornaments. My dad gave it to me a few years ago, because all growing up on our Christmas tree every year there was the "little blue lamb" ornament. The little blue lamb was small, its body was about the size of a jelly bean, and mishapen, but it was very special. That ornament was special because my dad had made it when he was little with his dad. The little legs on the lamb were the most bizarre thing about it. They were all different sizes and not shaped at all like a lamb's legs should be. My dad explained to me that when they made it they cooked it in the oven to harden it, but it cooked too long and the legs burned a little. But it was still really special, because they had made it together. My dad's dad had a lot of issues in his life and consequently wasn't the father he could have or should have been. I always got the immpression that making the little blue lamb was one of the few activities that my dad remembered doing with his dad. The little blue lamb was special I think because it was sort of symbol of my dad's relationship with his dad, it was a piece of his history. So every year us kids would decorate the Christmas tree and save the little blue lamb for my dad, and he would put it on the tree every year, because it was his special ornament. So a few years ago my dad bought six little lamb toys and made them into oranments for his children. My lamb is much healthier looking than the little blue lamb, as is my relationship with my dad. Whenever I look at my little lamb ornament I think about my dad, and what a good man he is despite the many challenges he faced in his childhood, and I appreciate him for being a good dad. So when we pulled out the little lamb ornament this year I was happy when I saw that Bugaboo loved it too. He of course wanted to play with it, so I let him for a few minutes and then talked him into putting it on the tree. So the little lamb was on the tree and I moved on to other things.

I was busy with some other decorating project when I noticed Bugaboo pull the lamb off the tree. He thought that I wasn't watching as he playfully trotted the lamb over to the Nativity. I was pretty sure that in a few seconds I would be forcefully pulling the Baby Jesus and the lamb ornament from my toddlers fingers while he screamed over the injustice, and I tried to find a new place for my nativity, but instead of intervening prematurely, I just observed. Bugaboo put the lamb right on the Baby Jesus, it looked like he was having the lamb nibble on Baby Jesus. I thought to myself "Oh, I'm pretty sure this is not appropriate, and we even just talked about how these figure were special and needed to be treated nicely." As I was resigning to the fact that I really couldn't expect my toddler to understand why these figures should be treated reverently, Bugaboo made a little smooch sound for the lamb then I understood, the lamb wasn't nibbling he was giving Baby Jesus kisses. Then the lamb moved to Mary and gave her a little kiss too, and then Joseph also was gently kissed by the lamb. Then the lamb trotted back to the tree. It was one of the sweetest Christmas moments I have ever experienced, my little Bugaboo for a brief second was a shepherd with one little special lamb, adoring the Christ child. I love Christmas becuase of memories like this.

Christmas is coming

2006-11-29T12:29:00.000-08:00

And oh I love the holiday season, but I am swamped trying to get ready early for the holiday season. So I will blog again soon...as soon as things calm down in the Notes household, I PROMISE.

Update

2006-11-13T12:40:00.000-08:00

Thanks ladies, I really appreciated everyone's sympathy on that last post, its been a crazy month, but November is looking better, we're all healthy right now so I'm hoping for the best.

Things have been crazy here at our house the last few days, so I haven't been able to blog. I am still pretty swamped so this just a quick note, since this is one of those things I don't want to forget...

Bugaboo has been talking for quite awhile now, but its just been in the last few weeks that he has switched from mimicry (sp?) to actually using those words to comunicate and tell me what he needs/wants. Its wonderful, I never knew how useful the words milk, juice, cheese, up, down, more, all done, and poop are. Funny... the things that parenting teaches you to appreciate.

Health Report

2006-11-06T11:24:00.000-08:00

Ok, in the last month, Bugaboo and I have been to the doctor's office five times, and also spent about six hours in the emergency room one lovely morning. Collectively we have had four ear infections, a sinus infection, one enduring case of pneumonia, and now the new member to our not so exclusive ailment club one splotchy case of Roseola. Roseola! I had to look it up on the internet, because I didn't know what it was. Basically it is a virus (translation: when red spots break out all over your child who has had a fever for three days, you freak out rush him to the doctor, on the verge of tears only to have the doctor tell you to take your incredibly irritable toddler home and give him tylenol because there's nothing they can do for a virus except collect your $20 co-pay on your way out of the office).

Seriously! winter is just getting started and we are already having serious health issues, I am scared for the rest of the season...I guess we better go get our flu shots and stock up on vitamin c, does anyone else having any suggestions?

Thoughts on Learning

2006-10-30T13:36:00.000-08:00

So I have been working on the website again. I have been getting a lot of hits, on the site, but not a lot of orders, and I decided that maybe people are a little intimidated at having to pay for a product that they have never even seen. So I changed things up a bit and made it so that customers can submit an order and I will make them a proof and then they can choose whether to purchase it or not after they have viewed the finished proof and made any changes that they want to. It will create a little bit more work for me, but I think in the long run it will be worth it. To implement this new plan I had to learn more programming skills, and I admit it right now my order form is pretty barebones, but I am learning how to write new scripts and I hope that I will have an even better website soon. If any of you lovely folks out there have constructive critisism for me on the website I would love to hear it.

I am so proud of myself, and learning new things makes me feel so good. I feel like as a mother sometimes (perhaps as a result of all of the Teletubbies' episodes I've watched) my brain power gets a little dull. This website has really made me feel empowered because I built all of it by myself. If I didn't know how to do something, I learned. A year ago I never would have thought that I could do this, and now I can, and with all this I think an amazing thing happened...I got better at learning. Just like any other skill I have found that learning is a skill, a skill that is powered not by intelligence, or talent or anything fabulous and unique like that, it is powered completely by will, desire, and hard work.

I think I'm channelling Jane, Louisa May, or at least one of the Brontes

2006-10-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

Ok you know the story, a bunch of poor sisters have no inheritance and must strike it rich with by attracting the right husband, and what always happens...one of the sisters gets sick, we all think she's not going to make it, there may be an eloquent speech by one of the other sisters, and of course then the handsome (and wealthy) suitor shows up with the doctor, or mother, or whoever has the magic touch and sister pulls through. So last week my hubby goes out of town, and I go to Utah to visit my family, and what do you know, I have a cold, with a cough, a really bad cough, then I have a fever for days, then I wake up one morning and I swear there is a fat kid sitting on my chest and I can't breath. My mom takes me to the emergency room, and I find out its not an invisible fat kid, its pneumonia. PNEUMONIA! What is that all about? Don't they know, I'm a mom with a very busy boy, who doesn't grant me sick days? It doesn't matter I am sick and it is out of my control. I hate when things are out of my control. The doctor does however ride in on his white horse, not with my wealthy suitor, but medication...thank heaven for antibiotics, and I am sent on my merry way. My fabulous suitor who am I lucky enough to already be married to does arrive to comfort me as soon as he can, and my wonderful family really stepped up to take care of Bugaboo, but I have been flat on my back for about a week and a half now. I am finally starting to feel a little bit better, but it has been a slow process. Even now I can only do a few things before I am tired and shaky. I feel like a Jane Austen sister who has come through her illness, but now has to slowly convalesce out on the veranda with a quilt and a parasol, listening to someone play the piano forte. Its sounds lovely at first, but seriously I've got stuff to do, oh well...sister will you straighten my quilt I think I feel a bit of a draft?

Celebrations...

2006-10-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Tuesday we went to Artic Circle for lunch, of course Little Man doesn't know that we go there for lunch. In fact he always seems really surprised when I strap him into one of those wooden high chairs and try to make him eat french fries. The poor kid he is so put upon. Little Man thinks that we go to artic circle for the play place that is housed there. It is shaped like a gigantic fish and has two slides a big one and a little one. Being an only child my little Bugaboo has always loved to see all of the other kids playing around him, but he usually just hangs out at the bottom of the fish steps letting the other kids whir and rotate around him.

Well this week he surprised me. As I chatted and with the other moms from the table I was sitting at I saw Little Man easily climb the steps to the first slide he sat himself down at the top of the slide and then started to look for me. I knew that what he wanted was for me to help him down the slide. He loves slides, but always likes mom or dad to hold on to him a little when sliding down. I could see him, but he hadn't spotted me yet so I just kept quiet and stayed in my seat, wanting to see what bugaboo would do. Sure enough after a few seconds of hesitation my little man slid down the slide ALL BY HIMSELF! I was so proud and so was Little Man he got to the bottom of the slide and stood up and started looking for me again, this time he spotted me and trotted right over to where I was. He hopped over to me beaming, and chattered all about what he had done. Of course I didn't understand anything that he said, but I am sure that if I could speak baby it would have translated to "Mom, did you see that! I went all the way down the slide all by myself!" He went down the slide over and over again and I had to drag him away when it was time to go.

It made me feel so good to see Bugaboo do something so brave, because confidence is something that I have really wanted to give to my son. As a child I was an extremely fearful child, you name it, I was afraid of it. If there was something to worry about, I would do it. I didn't like camping because I was afraid that the tent would fall over on me. I didn't like being left in the car while my mom ran to the neighbors doorstep for a minute because I was a afraid that the car would roll away. I was terrified of fog, because I was afraid that my parents wouldn't be able to find their way home from wherever we were. Seriously I had issues. I think part of the problem was that I was hard wired to be more worried than perhaps another child, but I also think that I lacked alot of confidence that could have been learned. And later in my life, I did learn a little more confidence, but it took years. So when I started to notice that Little Man seemed particularily fearful in unknown situations, and especially of people, I figured that he had inherited a little of my worrier streak. But I don't want Bogaboo to spend his entire childhood doubting himself, so I've been trying to make a conscious effort not to enable his fearfulness. Nothing big, I just try not to run to the rescue whenever there is a task before him that I know he can handle, but doesn't want to. I have been trying to leave him with a babysitter that isn't grandma every now and then. I've been trying not to over dramatize the little falls and scrapes, and instead cheer for him when he gets up, and I guess that's the big thing, I try to remember to cheer for him whenever I can, because when you're one and a half every little victory is a big one. So yes when he went down the slide all by himself it was a big deal and it made us both feel really proud.

Later that day, in honor of Shane being home for the afternoon (a needed break from what is truning out to be a stressful work ~~week~~ month), Bugaboo and I took Dad to the park. Now the park had a much bigger slide. Bugaboo led Shane straight up to the slide and slid right down.

This time I waited at the bottom, just in case, because it was a lot bigger and I was nervous he might slide himself right off the end, but he did great, and had a great time showing his dad all of the park features.

It was such a fun outing we chased ducks,

rolled in fall leaves,

and yes slid down many more slides. I think that this is what life is about. Celebrating the little accomplishment and cheering each other on.

This post is dedicated to my dear husband, who has not gotten to see as much of his family as of late because he carries the burden of protector and provider and has had to work. I am so grateful that he works so hard for us, and that everyday he makes Bugaboo and I feel like we truly are what is important in life.

Weekend Report

2006-10-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

I had the most lovely weekend. I have been feeling a little crazed and overwhelmed. So this weekend I went on vacation. I left Little Man home with Shane and went to the neighbors for a srapbooking fest. It was so fabulous to have a little time to myself, and when I came back I found that baby and hubby were both perfectly happy, and my clean house was still clean. Now all of you must stand up and cheer for my lovely hubby who made this all possible. It felt so good to visit with friends and eat treats, and not worry about anyone else but me. I felt so relaxed when I came home and...dun da dah dun...
I have several new scrapbook pages to boot. Woohoo!

The Wonder of Boys

2006-10-04T07:49:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was a much better day for those of you that were worried. Thanks for the encouragement.

I just have one funny story to share today. Last night I went in the bathroom where Shane was giving Maso a bath after another yogurt incident. We were talking away about something grownup and boring, and well I suppose that Maso felt a little neglected, becuase he chose that time to lean over grunt and, well,...fart. Yep, the kids made bubbles in the tub, and Shane and I being such refined and sofisticated parents burst into uncontrollable laughter. Well, at this point Maso was feeling very proud of himself, and DID IT AGAIN, and then while looking at us with pride and joy on his face he pointed to the water and said, "bubble!"

He is such a boy.

We're Back

2006-09-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

What a fabulous weekend we had! Hubby and I left little man home with grandma, and went to...Egypt. Yep, you read that right we went to Egypt, just for the night. It was fabulous.

It was so great to be just me and Shane for awhile, and since grandma was sleeping at our house with the litte guy we didn't even have to worry about him. In fact after being in Egypt for a few hours I have to admit that not only did we not worry about him, we didn't talk about him, and I spent entire minutes not even thinking about him. Now dearies don't get me wrong you know I love the little man, but you know sometimes I worry that parenthood has completely eclipsed couplehood, which is fine I guess, but its nice to know that Shane and I still have things to talk about besides what new words we learned today, and how much little man ate that day (or even better how much little man pooped that day).

I learned this weekend that motherhood has put me into a constant state of hurried/stress mode. As we left for our romantic get away I couldn't shake the feeling that we needed to hurry and get there, I realized that I feel that way, because every other place I ever go is done in the company of the ticking tantrumy-grabby-breaky-things 18 month old time bomb that is my little boy (hence my new resolve to do all my shopping on the internet from now on, because paying the extra shipping cost is better than the looks I get for the 17 yr old store clerks who will have to clean up the mess that my toddler just made while my attention was averted for a whole 4 seconds). It took realizing this to help me to really relax, and after I did it was wonderful. We had a great time, and I am so glad that I am married to such a wonderful man. Happy Anniversary Love.

Busy, busy, bee

2006-09-22T12:58:00.000-07:00

That's what I have been lately a busy, busy, bee (or momma take your pick). I have been cleaning my house in preparation for two different visits from family; entertaining the the family; taking care of little man all by myself while Shane is out of town again, doing research on a subject I know almost nothing about so that I can pick out the perfect anniversary present for hubby (more on that later); preparing the primary program for take off, and filling another order (woohoo!) for my website. Wowser I am tired, and the weekend is just getting started.
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Hubby and I are celebrating our anniversary this weekend, by leaving little man home with Grandma (thank you Grandma) and heading off for a night in Egypt. We are going to this fun little theme room bed and breakfast, and staying in the Egypt room, its like a mini vacation I am so excited, and will tell you all how it went when I get home.

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Like I said before I got to fill another order for the website this week. I was so flattered that Stephanie from Princess Mom let me make her some baby announcements for her new baby. I really had fun making these, they turned out cute and are also posted in the gallery on the website.

This one is a nice girly design.

And this is the one that she decided to print, I just love that sweet little sleepy baby picture.

(Of course Spider's name is not Marianne or Avery, I like to change all names when posting them on my site.)

Good News and Bad News

2006-09-19T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well folks, the good news is that is a monstorous pile of clean laundry, the bad news is that somebody's got to fold it and put it all away. So in other words it may be awhile, before I have time to post again.

That kid!

2006-09-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

Little man is getting so big. He is walking and running all over the place, and recently he has started to talk a lot. It so amazing to see his vocabulary grow daily. The other day when we were at the park from the grassy spot where I was sitting I saw Mason intently playing with something small and dark I casually asked him what it was (not really expecting a reply) and he said to me clear as day "bug, mom." Shane says to me, "it sounded like he said bug," I say "it sure did." And sure enough Mason puts the little thing down and it CRAWLS AWAY, all the while Mason is hopping around it pointing and saying, "bug, bug, bug!" It was a lady bug to be exact. I didn't even know that he knew that word, the kid never ceases to amaze me.

Khalid M. Shahid

2006-09-10T10:14:00.000-07:00

Septemeber 11, 2001 Khalid M. Shahid went to work. I imagine that he didn't feel any differently about this day than another, but this day was different this was the day that would change the world, but Khalid didn't know that. He didn't know how he would be a part of it, and he didn't know how much he would be missed.

He just went to work that day and was his usual self. His usual self was the person that everyone loved so much. His usual self was the person that would have this said about him:

"I'm very thankful to God that I had the opportunity to have had such a special friend like Khalid in my life. Khalid made me become a better person and see the good in all. He touched my life in a way that I will always be grateful of his love, kindness and appreciation."

"KHALID WAS A VERY GOOD HEARTED PERSON TO ANYBODY..."

"Khalid never said a bad word about anyone, just about as gentle as they come."

"He was the most compassionate and caring soul, and I miss him."

"Khalid had a positive impact on anyone he met"

I feel humbled to have had this opportunity to write about someone so special, and wish the best to his friends and family may they be blessed and comforted on this day of rememberance.

Bumps in the night, and lumps in my bed...

2006-09-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

Shane has been out of town all week this week. I hate it when Shane goes out of town because in all honesty it. freaks. me. out. This is something they don't tell you about marriage. They don't tell you that once you get married you will be petrified to sleep in your house by yourself, or worse with your defenseless toddler sleeping down the hall, you being the only one there to protect him from the boogy man who is no doubtedly lurking just outside, and waiting for you to turn the lights off. Seriously, I have got to stop watching CSI.

One thing I was excited for this week was to sleep on "the cloud." The Cloud is the most wonderfully soft and lovely bed I have ever slept on. It was a wedding present from my mother who works at a furiniture store thus getting a great discount and so she was able to slpurge a little on this one. I love this bed, the only problem with it is that Shane is quite tall 6'7" to be exact, and so the queen size bed was a little small for him. So after a few years of sleeping with his feet hanging over the edge, he decided that we really needed to upgrade to a larger bed the California king. Now Shane fits just great in bed his bed, but oh I still miss the cloud bed. The big one just isn't nearly as comfortable and soft. So I thought this week since Shane was gone, and I was sleeping by myself anyhow, that I would sleep on the cloud downstairs in the guest room (oh those lucky guests). So the first night I went to sleep down there, and I chickened out, the basement seemed, well way creepy to me. I just couldn't do it. So I've been sleeping in my regular bed all week, but oh you are thinking at least I get to sleep in the middle instead clinging to one side all night right? Oh, no no no, I rolled over to the middle and felt like I was sleeping on a barrel! Yep you guessed, Shane and I each have our own respective body divets in the bed. So I settled into my own little body impression, and soon fell fast asleep, oh wait I mean laid awake all night listening to all of the weird noises that my house makes, and hoped they were not the boogy man.

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In other news Song Bird Design (my little business) got another order this week. Beth from Total Mom Haircut (don't you love that title) was one of the people that responded to my coupon offer a little while ago, and this week I made her a new address announcement card. This is the first moving announcement that I've done, so it was really a fun project to do. Here are the designs I made for her to choose from:

And this is the design that she decided to print.

Big laughs ahead... (I promise this is a good one)

2006-09-06T18:42:00.000-07:00

Ok I ran into this handy contraption over at Chris's blog, and I laughed so hard I had to share it on mine too, because some of you might have missed it and hello! this is freakin' hillarious.

Is it bad that I think it might not be such a bad idea, I mean really I can just see it I have to pee, oh wait, let me hang my kid up.
I remember in my childless days explaining to Shane (because for some reason this doesn't happen in men's rooms) how I hated it when I had to use the restroom while a lady with a toddler was in there also because while you can't fault the mom because come on even moms need bathroom breaks, its rather disconcerting when (inevitably) her toddler sticks his head under the stall wall just to see what's going on in your stall. Well now I am that mother and let me tell you what: moms DO need bathroom breaks, and seriously holding onto a screaming toddler who is simultaneously trying to unroll all the toilet paper, roll on the floor, and yes inspect all the other potty goer's stalls, while replacing the seat protector because it got flushed by the automatic flusher for the third time before I even got to pee, is well, difficult.

And seriously think of all the other uses...oh too funny.

Work, work, work

2006-09-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

I am so happy for the return of My Life Monday...

I have had many jobs over the years. Some of them have been very memorable, but I would have to say that the best story comes from my first job.

Ok I blame it on my parents for not preparing me better for the real world (no way is it my fault), because when I graduated from high school I had never had a job before, and I finally realized that I needed one. So I started looking it was very stressfull and I admit I was a little picky about where I wanted to work...at first, then I started to get desperate. Finally I applied for a job at TJ Maxx, and was hired. Oh I was so proud of myself. So my first day I went to work, we learned about company policies, and other such things, and then it was time for us to learn how to use the cash registers. So there I am standing there at the front of the store listening to how to use the cash register, and I start to think "oh my, I have terrible cramps." Yes of all days aunt flo had chosen this one to show up, so I am standing there trying to listen, to how to ring up a sale when I think to myself, "these cramps are really bad, ouch, ouch they really hurt, oh man am I uncomfortable, I think I will just lay my head down on the counter and rest a minute, hey why is everything all dark and blurry..." A few second later I woke up with several of my new co-workers standing around me. And one very helpful customer shoving a lifesaver into my mouth. Yes I had passed out, now that was embarrassing enough (pretty much I wanted more than anything to find the nearest hole to crawl in and die), but then the lady from the customer service desk yells for everyone to hear, "THEY WANT TO KNOW IF THERE IS ANY WAY SHE COULD BE PREGNANT!"

Huh? who wants to know? Why the 911 people of course, don't worry Nicole, the ambulance is on its way. By now EVERYONE is looking at me, the not so helpful customer is trying to swab my head with a dripping wet paper towel, and I am actually praying that the earth will just open up and swallow me right there on the spot. I try to explain that I am not pregnant I just have cramps. They don't believe me. About then the ambulance shows up. Well to be exact the ambulance, and TWO firetrucks show up, and it must have been a slow day for emergencies, because out of the emergency vehicles streamed every paramedic in town I think. They take me to the back room (thank goodness at least that lady will stop trying to get me to eat candies), one of the paramedics starts yelling questions at me. THis guy is actually yelling at me.

"Hello! I am having a bad enough day with out you yelling at me, and for the last time I am NOT pregnant! I just have cramps! Will somebody please get me an advil."

About then my dad shows up, he is relieved to see me after having to navigate through the ambulance and firetrucks, and paramedics just to get to me. By then the paramedics are realizing that I might really be telling the truth, and are unhappily packing up to leave. I think they are really dissapointed that I am not actually dying or something. I go home, but not to worry the next day I return to work. Yes I was absolutely mortified at what had happened, but I really needed a job, so I had to go back.

I worked there for two months until well,... IT HAPPENED AGAIN! Yes I am standing there at the cash register having bad cramps again and then the next thing I know I wake up on the floor and the customer service lady is asking me AGAIN if I am pregnant. Oh the shame, this time they believe me when I say that I have cramps, and the ambulance is called off, but I decide that I am allergic to working at TJ Maxx and having cramps at the same time, and I quit on the spot. I am hired the next day to work at ZCMI in the Trim the Home department(translation: overpriced Christmas crap). I spend a great deal of time at the cash register and don't pass out once (woohoo!) Although on the days that I have bad cramps I call in sick, just to make sure.

Under construction

2006-09-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

Well folks its happened. My computer is broken. BRO-O-O-KEN. As I type this I am hoping that it will be able to limp along unitl I get everything important backed up.

BLAST YOU CYBER VIRUS MAKING STUPIDHEADS! DON'T YOU COME NEAR MY COMPUTER ANYMORE! I DID NOT INVITE YOUR LOUSY VIRUS, AND I AM NOT KEEPING IT.

Sorry I just had to get that out...Honestly who makes viruses? Their mothers must be so embarrassed, going around messing up people's live like this. Grrrrr.

I have to totally rebuild my computer so I may be busy for a day or two, but not to worry I'll be back.

Sorry Friends This is a Long One

2006-08-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

For a long time I've been wanting to write about when little man was born. There is no reason that I picked today, just like I said, it was a big deal and I've been wanting to write about it for awhile.

So rewind a few years Shane and I are living the good life as DINKs (Double income no kids). Shane and I both have good jobs. We live in our first house that we love, in a community that we really love, and what should happen but we start feeling the need to do a little repopulating. So we decide to make a baby, we think its just that easy. I buy a few pregnancy tests and wait a month...negative. No problem, we'll try again next month...negative. Fast forward a year and a half, and five rounds of Clomid later. Still no luck and the increasingly high amounts of Clomid, are making me an emotional wreck (read raving lunatic) several days out of the month, plus we are moving from the place we love to a place I am not so sure about. So in honor of the move (and pretty much because I can't take it anymore) we decide to skip the Clomid this month. A few weeks later yep you guessed it...POSITIVE! We were pregnant (Go figure). I surprised Shane at work that day with lunch and a book for expectant dads that I had saved for almost a year just for this occasion. It was a great day.

So the pregnancy progresses and we both revel in the fun of planning for the baby. We find out that we are having a boy (which I swear that I knew all a long). We start thinking of names. We continue to get ready. When I am 31 weeks pregnant I go to the doctor in her fabulous new office. The nurse takes my blood pressure and says almost to herself "that's a little high." She reassures me that its not too high, but she wants to check my chart to see if its high "for me." Unfortunately she explains a few minutes later, because of the recent move she can't find my chart, but really its not that high so I should be fine until the next appointment. So the following Monday I go to work. I work in a non-profit organization with a whole flock of well meaning "mother hens." They drill me on my last appointment, they cluck their tongues at my lost chart, we move on. Tuesday, I can't bend my fingers very well because they are particularily swollen, Melissa my boss says she is worried about how swollen my face is looking, I think to myself "gee thanks." By Friday Shane has jumped on the worry wagon, and encourages me to call my doctor. I do, they encourage me to come in for a quick check. At the office they check my blood pressure. The nurse looks worried and sends me to "L&D" I innocently ask what's L&D she explains and I head down to labor and delivery "for monitoring."

In the hospital they hook me up to the monitors and start an IV line, all the while I am thinking, this will take an hour or so and then I will go home. HELLO! this baby is not due for another two months! I call Shane he is washing his truck. He comes right over, when he sees me all hooked up he turns into worried Shane. The doctor comes in and tells me to get comfortable I might be here awhile. We call our parents and invited them to jump on the worry wagon that apparently I am driving, they readily do so. My doctor is so on top of things (please forgive her for the lost chart it could've happened to anyone) she immediately has me injected with steriods (that hurt like crazy) and explains that the baby's lungs will get the maximum benifit from the steriods if they are able to work for 48 hours. Shane and I realize that the goal to keep the baby in for two more months is no longer attainable, and we start praying for just two more days. They move out of L&D to the women's center down the hall. On Sunday the neighbors come and give me a priesthood blessing. In that blessing I am blessed specifically that things will be fine, I wrap those words in a little receiving blanket of faith and tuck them in my heart for safe keeping. Sunday night I convince Shane to go home and sleep in his own bed, he does. We feel so glad that we have made it the neccessary 48 hours. At about two in the morning I wake up with a pounding headache. I am given Tylenol to no avail. The nurse takes my blood pressure, and announces that I have just won a trip back to labor and delivery. I meet my doctor there. She injects a medicine into my IV line my blod pressure starts to drop immediately. She sits down on my bed like a girl friend at a slumber party and says, "lets talk." She explains carefully that my blood pressure will continue to rise dangerously high until I have this baby, she fears that the baby will not fair well if my pressure contiues to rise. She says to me bluntly it's time to have this baby. I say o.k. and try to be strong, but start to cry, my body's shortcoming makes me feel like such a failure as a mother. She reassures me that the best thing I could do for my baby is have had those steriods for 48 hours, and this I have done. I feel a little better and know that even though I don't want it this way, and I am frightened this is the path that is laid out before me and therefore is the only one I can take. It will do me no good to sorrow over paths that are no longer open to me. (Looking back at this time I am particularily amazed at the reserves of strength that are hidden deep in the human soul. Laying there in utter pain and having the unknown loom before me, I did not fall apart, I just said o.k. and went forward. I know now that this is the survival mode that I have heard people talk about. The one that says to you we will cry about the specail delivery experience that you didn't get have later, we will be sad about the baby shower you were suppose to go to another time if ever. It doesn't matter that you haven't finished the crochetted edge around the receiving blanket, or that this babe doesn't have a special "coming home" outfit. Those things are already gone, and they don't matter. What matters is getting this baby here alive and well, and if you can stay the same that would be good too.) I ask the nurse to call Shane and a few minutes later he shows up. We are nervous but Shane is feeling like me, we must go forward. We agree on the name that we thought we had two more months to fight about. They wheel me into the OR, the anesthesiologist is someone in my ward as he applies the epidural I am flooded with relief of the pain I have been feeling. I am so relieved I forget to feel embarrassed about my pregnant naked body that is surrounded by a roomful of strangers, my husband, and the ward member (I do however remember to feel embarrassed several times after this event when I see him in the hall at church). I feel nothing, I concentrate on trying to wiggle my toes (which I can no longer feel). Shane stays near me and pats my head and arms. I feel alot of pressure on my stomach, Shane grabs my arm "I can see him! I can see him!" and then "he's almost out!" And then he is out, I hold my breath and say a silent prayer that he will cry,

please let him cry.

And then he does, like a little cat. THey hold him up so I can see him, he is small and purple. They pass him through the window into the NICU. He is gone so fast. They keep working on me, I remember my doctor expalining to the other doctor there about the stitches, like I was a crostitch design. They wheel me into recovery. Shane shows me pictures of Mason on the digital camera. I still can't move, but I also can't stop shaking. They get me ready to go back to my room. I remind the nurse that they had promised me I could see my baby before I go back. They call the NICU, no I can't come now. They take me back to my room, I ask the nurse there when I can see my baby she pats my arm and starts saying how I need to take care of myself first, I start to cry, realizing that I won't be seeing my baby today, the nurses around my bed cry with me. I am still on the mag this horrible medicine that makes me feel like I have the flu. Tuesday morning I call the nurse and beg her take me off the mag, she finally does. I ask her if I can see my baby, and she says I have to wait until my doctor comes. My mother in law comes to visit, I can barely stay awake while she is there, but Shane does all the visiting. When she leaves, SHane walks her out, I know she wants to see the baby, but I want to beg Shane not to take her in to see my baby, not because I don't want her to see him, but because selfishly I cannot bare the thought of anyone else seeing him, and loving him before I get to. Without me saying anything Shane understands, and doesn't take her to the NICU. My mom calls me she has a terrible cold and cannot come to visit, because she might make me or the baby sick, she cries when I tell I haven't seen my baby yet. My doctor finally comes and gives the go ahead for me to go to the NICU. Shane and I go together to see our little man. He is so small, I am afraid to even touch him at first, Shane tells me all about him and all the wires and tubes. I am amazed at how quickly Shane has made the transition to dad, and I love him for it. We cannot hold him, but Shane shows me how to change his diaper. I make a joke about how he said he wouldn't change diapers, Shane says with sincerity "I would do anything for him."

The next day little man is stronger, I get to hold him for the first time. He is so tiny I'm afraid I'll break him, with how much I love him. He looks so tired.

The next morning the doctor decides to put him back on the ventilator. It is miserable to see him struggling so much to breathe. He's on the vent for a day, and then taken off again. He does better this time. A day later we come into the NICU and the nurse is putting clothes on him. This is a very big deal it means that little man gets to move from an open bed to an enclosed one. It means that he is getting stronger. He still is not breathing fully on his own, and has a number of other issues to deal with, but this is progress, Shane and I feel so proud. A few days after that we get to give Little Man a bath. This is the first time since he has been born that we get to really care for him. It is a very special time for us.

Little man continues to grow and progress, slowly, but all the same there is progress almost everyday. He learns to breathe on his own, he starts to drink from a bottle, he continues to gain weight, and finally 32 days after he was born he gets to come home. We have no idea what we have ahead of us, but I am so proud of my little family for getting this far.

I had no idea, what having a preemie would be like. I learned that "mommy guilt" is a force to be reckoned with and you can feel it even over something you have no control over like Preeclampsia. I learned that it truly is the smallest things that take up the most room in you heart. I learned that I have so many loving people in my life that I can count on, and I also learned that there are also alot of people in my life that just want the gossip, and those two are not to be confused. I learned to stand up for myself, and that I have to stand up for my baby, because (if dad's not around) no one else will (so no miss nurse you may not play your loud, obnoxious counrty music in the same place where my hyper sensitive preemie is trying to live). I learned sensitivity. And I learned that I am a stronger that I thought I was. And most importantly I learned that no matter how big or small, strong or sick that they come, babies are gifts from God, and I am grateful for mine everyday of my life.

Thanks All

2006-08-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that responded to my coupon offer. I have now given out all of the coupons. For those who didn't get one, keep reading...I can say that this probably won't be the last time.

I can't wait to see what all you lucky recipients order.

C'mon I Know You're Out There

2006-08-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

So for those of you who don't know a few months ago I started my own little business. I have worker really hard on it, and learned a ton, it's been a fabulous journey, but lately business has been a little slow (ok really slow). Which is not what I planned for my fabulous business, so today I am offering to my loyal readers a wonderful prize for reading today. The next three people to email me will receive a 40% off coupon that they can use on an order of custom announcement from Song Bird Design. Now I know that you're excited, but you are also thinking what's the catch? Well this is the catch (sorry) the coupons expire in one month, so only take it if you can use it soon. So send your friends with new babies, weddings, birthday parties, or any other major life event to announce my way. I promise you will love you your completely unique announcements from Song Bird Design.

The Weekend

2006-08-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

Well dearies we're off. Terrified that the summer will end without us having squeezed every ounce of fun out of it. The fam and I are off on an impromtu weekend trip. I will post again when we return, with all sorts of tales of fun and misadventure. Until I return I have a questions for you all that I have always wondered about:

If Cinderella's shoes were such a perfect fit then why did they fall off in the first place?

Was it just an extra bit of magic from that wonderful fairy godmother (why didn't I get one of those)? Or can we say that perhaps Cinderella wanted to be found, and it was just an elaborate game of hard to get. If that is the case, you think she would have left a better clue than a shoe. Honestly that was a pretty big gamble, I mean its a little hard to believe that she was the onle size six and a half in the kingdom, but then maybe her shoes were such a perfect fit that they really would only fit her, but if this was the case then...(see above question). You see my problem, I just can't figure it out, so I'd love to hear what you all think.

The Hills Have Eyes...

2006-08-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

They also have perfectly sculpted noses, blindingly white teeth, and large breasts, but what don't they have? You got it no matter how deeply you look, not an ounce of intelligence.

I have been thinking about this since I read Surcie's post about something similar. Let me explain, so last week I went visit my family. One of the things my sister and I always do on these visits is watch TV together. Now I know what you're thinking...huh? But seriously its good bonding time. We stay up late and watch all the shows that we're too embarrassed to watch with our parents around. So my sister introduced me to this show called "The Hills." Ok you've probably all already heard of it, but until recently I didn't even have cable so I'm not really up with what the cool shows are. So we watched "The Hills" together. Well, let me tell you what...I was appauled. This show is a reality show about some girls that live in L.A. They are a perfect example of what happens when you give someone everything they've ever wanted for 20 years. Seriously, these girls were ridiculous, their dialogue was absolutely insipid. In the episodes that I watched poor Heidi had deal with the devastating reality that her ape like boyfriend wasn't "treating her like a princess" (a line that she really would have been able to pull off better if she were four and dressed in costume jewelry). And then there was poor Lauren who had to make the daring decision to join her equally ridiculous boyfriend at the beach house, or go to Paris (a dramatic decision obviously engineered by MTV the show's mothership). Oh poor things! (my hand is on my forehead as I feign swooning). I thought to myself while watching this show what is the big draw? What keeps shows like this one on the air? Well the easy answer is: we do...I mean I admit it I was watching it too, but the bottom line is that it was entertaining. Like the bearded lady at the circus, my sister and I were drawn to this show, like the people slowing down and grotesquely straining their necks to see a car wreck on the side of the road. So then my next thought was what's wrong with that? and I think there are two answers to this question.

1. Nothing, its just entertainment, it doesn't matter. (This is the answer that all of the viewers have come to, and that is why the show continues to be popular).

But then there is answer number two and that is where the problem lies for me.

2. Its just entertainment, it doesn't matter. That's the answer. Its just entertainment, it doesn't matter, but all the while this entertainment that doesn't matter is seeping into our lives, taking up our time, soaking into the psyche of our little girls, and with this entertainment there is a message. The message is this...its ok to be a stupid person void of any depth, if you have the right clothes, lots of money from mom and dad, and a boyfriend; and if you don't have those things its o.k. to be absolutely, supremely selfish in order to get them.

Before being a mommy I was a social worker and let me tell you I have worked with children who have watched their father, weapon in hand, threaten their mother's lives. I have worked with children whose mother's have put their drug addiction before her own little ones even to the point of knowingly sacrificing her children's for those vile drugs. I have watched siblings, who feel they have no one but each other to count on being forcibly taken away from each other by the foster care system. I have worked with tired, broken souls trying their best to heal themselves and protect their families. And I can tell you: these. things. mattered.

So instead of seeing Lauren work at Teen Vogue, I'd like to see her helping (dare we say voluteering) in a child abuse shelter, or an inner city school, or somewhere else where there is need (Heaven knows there is plenty of that to go around). Instead of showing girls what they should have maybe she could show them what they should be. Can't we change the emphasis from what we can get to what we have done? I for one don't have time for this kind of entertainment anymore.

Yummy!

2006-08-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

Here is one of my latest scrapbook pages for little man. This day I had spent forever trying to get little man to provide me with one of those perfect photo ops. He was playing in the pool (ok maybe 'playing' is being a little optimistic, since every time I put him in there he cried like he was on fire or something). I wanted one of those adorable photos in his little swimming suit, but little man wouldn't do it.

He refused to be cute while he was being forced to stand in that wretched, torturous swimming pool. So I got him out, but he was still absolutely indignant at the horrors he had been forced to face, and would not stop crying until a cookie was laid on the table as a peace offering.

'Ah yes a cookie, that will be enough to compensate for all of my pain and suffering mom.' And well little man I have to tell you that you may have won the battle, but I won the war, because I got my photo op after all.

And seriously, he is so cute isn't he?

"Let me 'splain...no there is too much, let me sum up"

2006-08-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

Can anyone tell me what movie that line is from?

Well dearies, its been awhile. I know you all don't want to hear it, but wowsers, I have been busy. First you must all stand up and cheer for me, because one of the things that has been keeping me busy is that the Song Bird got an order. Now while I have filled several orders since I started this one was momentous because it was the first time a stranger has just walked in off the internet and ordered from my website. I was so proud. She really liked the collage type design in the Olivia announcement, that's also one of my favorite ones so it was fun to make her one like it.

Just for good measure I also made her some other new designs that also had the collage thing goin on.

And I also made her this one because I just couldn't reseist doing some recoloring on this photo.

She ended up choosing the first design. It was such a fun project to do. I just love making announcements for people, so I hope I will get more orders soon so that I can keep on doing what I love.

After I finished up that project Shane left for a business trip, so little man and I decided to go to Utah to visit my fam. What a fun trip. My good friend Sara was in town for the first half of the week. So we shopped and went to the zoo, and the park, and had afabulous time. Then the last half of the week I spent just hangin' with my family. I spent some good quality time with my sisters, and my parents. Little man got to really spend time with my parents which was so fun for them and so good for little man. We had a great time and really enjoyed ourselves.

Uhh?

2006-07-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

I think my blog is broken. Has anyone else had troubles with it?

More Babies

2006-07-14T13:37:00.000-07:00

I just finished doing a set of baby announcements for a friend. I have to say that I am pretty happy with how they turned out. I hope that she likes them too. Of course she said that she liked them, but you never know really. I mean, its not like she would say, "Nicole I hate these dumb things, why did you even make them?" Oh well, my self-esteem is telling me that I need to trust that she was telling the truth, since believing otherwise really isn't going to do me any good. Anyway here they are.

First I made her a few designs to choose from. This first one looks a lot like the "Madison" design that is already on the website. She told me that was one of her favorite deisgns, so I tried to make her something like it, only not so girly.

The next one is my favorite because it was such a lot of work to make. I know it doesn't really look like it, but it was. I also learned some new tricks on this one, which was really fun.

The last one was the one that she finally chose. It is a nice clean design, I just love the way that one little eye is peeking out to see what's going on.

Litigation takes the fun out of everything

2006-07-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

I mean it. What is the deal?

Wait, let me explain. So today I got a lovely email in my inbox it read:

Dear Nicole,

Thank you for responding to the River Ranch website regarding the moth you found in your Popeye Spinach (including the photos) we appreciate you bringing this to our attention. River Ranch does everything we can to try to prevent this type of thing from happening. We would like to send you some free Popeye coupons for any inconvenience this has caused. Would you please email your address and I will send those coupons right away.

Thank you again,

Terry
Customer Service
River Ranch Fresh Foods,LLC

Isn't that nice? and I mean that sincerely, they responded quickly and appropriately to my bug problem, but still I can't help but hear a hint of worry in their admit no wrong doing, and offer coupons to pacify the customer email. I mean wouldn't it have been more truthful if Terry had just said, "We do our best, but hey! moths love spinach. What can ya do?" or even better than truthful it would have been downright funny if she'd said, "Ok you caught us, we're using Popeye to sneak bugs into the diets of all Americans. Can we buy your silence with some coupons." But of course Terry can't say something like that, because I just might be a crazy, mean lady who has her lawyer on speed dial and has been just waiting for the day when I find a bug in my spinach.

Yes I admit, finding the moth in my spinach was very gross, but really I'm going to live. And I do understand, moths probably do really like spinach. Now I know that I complained ALOT in that last post about the bug, but part of that was just showing off for some of my blogger pals. Really I think that the world might be a better place if we all cut each other a little slack now and then. Ya know what I mean? Then Terry could write witty emails to the complaining customers, and make them laugh. I mean really I think I would take a good laugh over a coupon for free spinach any day.

Ewwww!

2006-07-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

So the other day I am making a sandwich and reach for the lettuce and realize that I am out of lettuce. Bummer, but wait no problem, I have a bag of spinach. Its not lettuce, but its got a picture of Popeye on the front and says right on it (and I quote) that its "thoroughly washed and ready to eat."

I know the picture is hard to read, but that is what it said. So I put a rather large pile of spinach on my sandwhich. In truth I was sort of hoping that all that spinach would sort of counteract the unhealthy parts in the rest of my sandwhich. Well I don't know if it did, but I do know this...about halfway through my sandwhich (which I was thoroughly enjoying by the way) I look down on the counter where some of the spinach had spilled out of the bag, and what do I see...

Yep! you got it a very large, very dead bug. EEWWWWWWWW! That's pretty gross, but then I realize that the bag is half empty. I have been feeding my family from the bug graveyard all week. I check the back of the bag and there I find it the ingredients.

As you can see it says spinach, it does not say big, fat, harry, bug carcasses, and spinach. No, its just says spinach. I have a feeling that Popeye is trying to trick me, just like years ago he tried to trick little children into believing that eating spinach would make muscles pop out of their shirt whenever they need them to fight off bullies, now he's tricking me into eating bugs, except mere manipulation won't work anymore now he's using downright underhanded trickery. So stop what you are doing right now and go check your spinach, don't believe the ingredients. Its a conspiracy and we don't have to take it.

Carrying the Banner...

2006-07-04T14:05:00.000-07:00

Ain't it a fine life
Carrying the banner through it all?
A mighty fine life
Carrying the banner tough and tall
Every morning
We goes where we wishes
We's as free as fishes
Sure beats washing dishes
What a fine life
Carrying the banner home-free all!

Oh come on you all know what I'm talking about. I know me and all of my friends weren't the only ones that watched this movie like it was a religion. What moive say you? Why Newsies of course...

Ok I know you are all trying to be cool and pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, but I know that in your heart right now your dusting off the place that is saved for Jack Kelly, and his pals (you know its the spot right next Johnny Depp in his 21 Jump Street days). And I know that you have a favorite newsie. Come on tell us was it Spot Conlon, Kid Blink, Mush perhaps? Or was it Jack...(the adoloescent in me sighs)

Why bring this up now well, this weekend I visited my family. It was a fabulous little trip, but at one point my sister and I started to chat. We started to joke about the songs that we like to sing with. She made a little bit of fun of the "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" CD that was in my car and then all of sudden we were talking about the newsies, and how we loved them so when we were younger, and how we used to know the words to every song, and then before I knew it there I was in my mommy car with my mommy clothes on and my mommy haricut, and my twenty-something sister and we were belting out the soundtrack to Newsies. Although I must admit that we didn't know the all words to any one song, we did know some of the words to all of the songs. It was so great, I felt like all of a sudden we had just gone back in time ten years (ok maybe 15).

So this post is dedicated to the Newsies, and all of the joy that they brought droves of thriteen year olds girls, and also to my dear friends, which is I guess what this post is really about, because as I was thinking about the newsies I also thought about one of my dearest friends who watched Newsies with me many a time on many a late night sugar enriched sleep over. It seems that adolesence is steadily becoming a more and more frightening stage of life, but mine was not so bad. I came out the other side of adolesence pretty much unscathed, and without having made any major detrimental decisions. Once Shane asked me why my teenage years were so good, and after thinking about it, I really do believe that it was my friends, I was truly blessed with good people to be friends with, and I still am...I can honestly say that my best friend from adolesence is still my best friend, even though she lives on the other side of the country, and we only talk to each other once in awhile during our babies' naptimes. How wonderful it is to share so much history with someone that you know that even if you didn't talk for ten years; even if you became the most important person on the planet. You would still have someone that wanted to eat doritos, drink soda (I think Mtn Dew was the drug of choice in those days), watch Newsies and sing all of the songs with you, until the wee hours of the morning. Even now I know my friend Sara is reading this and hearing the newsies sing "The King of New York" in the back of her head.

MUSH:
A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces!

RACETRACK:
A permanent box at Sheepshead races!

SPOT CONLON:
A porcelain tub with boilin' water!

KID BLINK:
A Saturday night with the mayor's daughter!

RACETRACK:
Look at me
I'm the king of New York
Suddenly
I'm respectable
Starin' right at 'cha
Lousy with stature

Come on go ahead sing it out loud I know you want to...

Been awhile

2006-06-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

I know, I konw, Its been a while and I knoe you all (well the two of you that actually read this thing have probably missed me, but I'm back. I don't know how all you bloggers out there do it. Its so hard to keep this baby up.

Here's the deal. The Song Bird got here first real order this week. Woohoo! sure it was for my cousin, and sure I'm not actually making any money on it, but she did ask me to build a photo announcement for her instead of the other way around. So all week I have been busy with that and let me tell you what, it was so fun to do. I love the new job that I built for myself, I hope that someday soon I will actually have more real orders. I just can't wait anyway. Anyway here is the finished project:

This is the front

and this is the back:

The Story of Us

2006-05-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

Title is a little cliche, but oh how I am excited to write about this one. I am so glad that Rachelle had this idea, because this is something that I have been really wanting to write about. The story of how Shane and I met is a good, one at least I think. It goes like this. Please bare with me, because I think that all love stories should be told as a fairytale.

Once upon a time many years ago (ok six to be exact) there lived a beautiful princess who lived in a cold dark smelly cave. Now I know what you are thinking 'Princesses don't live in dark, smelly, caves' but this one did. To be totally honest I admit at one point it had been an actual apartment, but years of being ignored by the greedy landlord had turned it into little more than a cave, where the poorest of poor college students were forced to live (even when they are princesses). I mean it, this apartment really was bad, you can ask Shane if you don't belive me. The princess wasn't the only person who lived in the cave, in the cave there also lived one of her best friends Jeri who had been on many adventure with the princess(someday I will have to chronicle the adventures of Jeri and Nicole, I tell those are some really good stories), another roomate who was engaged and therefore spent as little time as possible in the cave (since she had somewhere better to hang out) and a ferocious dragon (read roomate with serious passive aggressive, and overall grouchiness issues). The princess was generally really happy in the cave, if she was able to avoid the dragon that is. Now one day a friend came to visit me (yep you guessed it the princess is me) and told me all about some boy that she liked, well actually she swore that she didn't like him, just wanted to get to know him, but we all knew she liked him. So the next day at church I (I mean the princess) checked him out, yeah he seemed like a nice guy, so I gave her the go ahead on this boy. Well my friend asked him out and to make it more fun we threw together a group date. Well on the night of the date we met at my apartment and made dinner. I have to admit that if memory serves it wasn't even a very good dinner, and then after dinner we couldn't even think of anything to do except watch a movie. Someone had this great idea to build a fort to watch the movie in so Jeri and I dragged our mattresses out of our room and put them on the floor and then tried to use our sheets to build the walls of the fort, this didn't work very well until I had the great idea of stapling the sheets to the ceiling. So we built a fabulous fort and all watched a movie. After the movie ended we all went home, and I thought at the time that was the end of the story. What I didn't know was that as I was pulling down the fort and putting my bed back together (so as to avoid the wrath of the dragon), my friend on the date with Shane was at the doorstep to her apartment trying to put the moves on Shane*. Shane however wasn't reciprocating he was thinking about the fun girl that had stapled her sheets to the ceiling. A few weekends later Shane showed up at my doorsteps saying something lame like, "you and your roomates, should hang out with me and my roomates tonight." I was thoroughly confused wondering to myself "is he tyring to ask me out?" Well as luck would have it all of my roomates were out of town that weekend and I told Shane so thinking that he wouldn't want to hang out with just me. Truth be told I thought that he was after the Dragon (she was mean, but had some strange power over men, and attracted them constantly). Shane invited me to dinner and said he would be back in awhile to pick me up. What I didn't know was that Shane had to go home and tell his roomates that they couldn't come, because he wanted to be alone with this girl. So we went to dinner and then started driving home, we were both really digging each other and didn't want to go home so I mentioned oh so casually that I had never seen the wind caves. Shane quickly volunteered to show them to me, and so we went on a hike. On the hike I remembered that I talked, and talked, and talked, and I also remember that Shane didn't seem to mind. He really seemed interested in listening to me and that made me feel so good. I also noticed that he seemed really respectful of me. So Shane and I started dating, sort of slowly at first, in fact the first time that Shane kissed me I told him that I wasn't ready for that, and he said ok. I remember the next night he didn't come over, and I thought that for sure I had ruined it and that he had moved on to other girls, he was in fact at the time in one of the upstairs apartments snuggling with some other girl. Also in that upstairs apartment was Jeri's current love interest so she talked me into going up there with her. When we walked in sure enough there was Shane lounging on the couch with Julie. I felt so stupid and wanted to kick myself, because I really did like Shane, I just also had alot of other issues adding strain to my abilities to handle a relationship. I really liked Shane alot, I just felt a lot of pressure to do exactly the right thing, and so I was trying to proceed cautiously. So as soon as I saw Shane on the couch with Julie I thought it was over, but as soon as Shane saw me walk in the room he sat up and moved away from her so quickly that you would have thought that poor Julie had just burst into flames. Now Julie of course had not burst into flames, but she had noticed my arrival and Shane's sudden departure from her side, and she did quickly flee the room. Thinking back I can't really blame her for feeling hurt, but at the time she was the other woman and I hated her with a fury that lies within all women and only comes out when another female get in the way of her potential mate (come on you all know what I am talking about). So Julie went upstairs to her room and Shane (dramatic pause) followed her. Well then I knew that it was really over and I felt extra stupid, knowing that I was sitting downstairs, while the man I was in love with was upstairs probably smooching it up with Julie**. Well I was just about to leave when Shane came back and sat down next to me. He started chatting about some graduation celebration thing that he planned to go to, and then looked at me and said, "You're going with me right?" I was thoroughly confused, but of course said yes. Shane and I soon after left the party and went on a walk, things were just like they had been before, we talked and talked. I told Shane that when I didn't want to kiss him the night before I thought that I had ruined everything. Shane assured me that I had not and we left it at that. There were several days that followed where Shane and I were "friends." I thought that he was so great. We hung out almost everyday and loved to talk to each other. We went on about a million hikes and walks. Shane even went to the art museum with me. We loved being together, and one night we did kiss again and then I was ready, and it was wonderful, and after that we kissed all the time and loved it. Dating Shane was so much fun we loved spending time together. Shane made me feel so important and special when I was with him.

Shane and I dated for four months and were engaged for two...and have been married for five and half years. I am so glad that Shane found me. He is such a special guy, and I can truly say that we lived "Happily Ever After."

*I must admit that later as our courtship really got going that I did feel the need to ask my friend if she was ok with it all. Now of course she said that it was, I mean what was she supposed to say really...In my selfish girly heart though I distincly remember thinking if she says its not ok, I sure am going to miss being friends with her.

**What I only learned much later on was that Shane realized that he had hurt Julie's feelings and although he knew that he would leaving the party with me, he went first to Julie's room to apologize for snuggling with her in the first place when he really liked another girl, and then secondly for treating her like she was on fire when that other girl walked in the room.